Oh, What a Life
by bluishgirl2
Summary: Sequel to Oh, What a Night. We pick up about six months after OWAN. Christian and Ana face some unexpected challenges. They learn that life isn't always going to turn out the way you think it will, and they must look inside themselves to find out what they are capable of. Rating is M, but that may not come along for a while. NO CHEATING.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi** **Everyone! I'm back with the sequel to Oh What a Night. I have been dying to start posting this for you guys, but I wanted to bank some of the story first. I hope you all will like this as much as my first story. If you haven't read the first story I** **recommend that you do, but you may be able to get along without it. This is just a teaser, and I will post again sometime this week.**

 **I don't own FSOG.**

* * *

Ch. 1

I step off the elevator at work, my head held high. Though it is only 8:30 am, by sensuous husband made sure that my morning was off to a flying start. I smirk as I am reminded of a delicious soreness as I walk to my office. Never would I have thought that sex would become such an amazing part of my life.

Its hard to some to grips with just how much my life has changed in the last six months. Where I was once a single, virginal girl, I am now a married woman who has sex four times a day on average. I was an only child and now I have a brother and sister. I've gone from an English major, to an editor at a major Seattle publishing company. It may seem quaint to say I love my life, but I _do_ love my life.

I open my office door, and place my briefcase on my desk before I turn around to greet my mentor, Rachel. Everyday I walk into Rachel's office, where we catch up over a quick tea. She has taken me under her wing here, and thanks to her, I have my first big release this weekend.

"Knock, knock!" I say at the entrance to Rachel's office.

"Hey! How are you? How was your weekend?" Rachel asks quickly.

"I'm fine. My weekend was great. What number cup of coffee is that in your hand?" I question as I survey her hyper and disheveled look.

"I'm not quite sure the exact number cup I am on. The twins came down with a stomach virus late last night. I believe I got an hour or two of sleep if I am lucky. Dan stayed home with them for the morning. I am actual taking a half day today so that I can relieve him." Rachel explains.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Can I help you with anything?"

"I can manage work from home, but I would love to hear how you are doing with the upcoming launch."

"The guest list is set, and I am planning on calling every individual who did not RSVP. I'm going to see if I can get ahold of them so I can firm up the numbers. Then I have to update the caterers on how many we are expecting. I talked with the printers, and they have shipped out our stock of the book for the party. They should be here, in office, by tomorrow. My author has already been talked down off of a ledge once, but I'm prepared to do it at least once more." I tell her.

"How about the venue?"

"The location is a large multi-purpose room at the inn down the road. They are letting us in early Friday morning. I am, with your kind permission, planning to be on site all day Friday. I have decorations that are ready to go."

"I'll double check on things, but I think I can send you one or two interns to help you." Rachel tells me as she rubs her eyes.

"That would be amazing. Thank you, Rachel."

"Thank you for doing your job so well. " She smiles at me. "I'm gonna go get another cup of coffee, and I'll meet you at the staff meeting in twenty."

"Ma'am, yes Ma'am." I joke to her.

PAGE BREAK

"I understand, Mrs Purchell. I apologize for calling you, but I really just need a quick yes or no as to whether you will attend or not." I try my hardest to remain professional.

This is my forty seventh phone call of the day. Even though I am home now, I wanted to get through the RSVP list anyway. After numerous messages left and too many phone calls, I am burnt out. Its amazing how rude people can be to you when you just have a simple question for them. I guess I shouldn't be surprised because they were rude enough not to send back the RSVP. Unfortunately I have to be over the top polite to these publishing big wigs.

"Okay. Thank you for your time Mrs Purchell. I'm hoping you find yourself at our launch on Friday. Have a good night." I say in my sickeningly sweet voice as I hang up. "Waste of time." I say as I toss my phone onto the living room couch.

"You know, they say that talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity." I hear from somewhere behind me. I turn to see my gorgeous husband smirking at me from the entryway.

"If that's the case, then maybe you should keep me tied up. You know, for my own protection of course." I flirt with him.

"That can be arranged, Mrs Grey." Christian says as he saunters over to me.

Christian lightly places his fingertips along my arms as he leans in and dusts his lips along mine. This tiny movement takes my breath away and makes my head spin. I raise my arms up his body, gliding along his chest until I anchor my hand behind his neck. He settles his hands on my hips. I stare into his eyes, looking into him. I rub my thumbs along his jawline as he rubs his thumbs along my hip bones. After a moment we both lean in for a deeper kiss than the last. We break for a moment before joining together again. The passion builds with each new kiss, until I feel like I can't stand on my own anymore.

"How was your day?" Christian whispers to me as we catch our breaths, foreheads leaning against one another.

"Mmm, good. Busy. You?" I mumble.

"Same. Glad to be home." he replies.

"Are you hungry?" I ask him.

"A little bit. Why? Is dinner ready?"

"I don't know if dinner is ready, but I was wondering if you might want to take a nap with me." I offer.

"A nap?" he asks worriedly, pulling back from me. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine, I just thought you might enjoy a nap." I say, but this time I wink on the word nap.

" _Oh._ A _nap_." he catches on. "Well, now that you mention it I am really in the mood for a _nap_." he smirks at me.

"Good." I say as I disentangle from him. He looks confused by my actions. "But, you have to catch me first!"

I turn on a dime and run down the hallway. By the time Christian realizes my intent I am almost to our bedroom.

"Oh, Mrs Grey. You play dirty." Christian shouts after me.

"Back at ya, Baby!"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Glad to see people are enjoying this so far. I hope to have the next chapter up soon. Just so you all know: there is a method to my madness, and I hope that I'm not too predictable on my story line. Thank you for reading!  
**

* * *

Ch. 2

It's Thursday morning, and I am officially freaking out. The shipment of books for the release party were supposed to be delivered Tuesday, but they _still_ aren't here. I'm just about ready to pull my hair out, and it isn't even noon yet. I just don't know how I'm going to have everything ready for the party tomorrow.

I know it will be futile, but I decide to call the delivery company for the fourth time today.

"Hi, this is Anastasia Steele from GP again." I introduce myself once they've answered.

"Yes, ma'am. I remember you." The woman says, sounding exhausted with me. " The shipment doesn't seem to be any nearer to you from when we talked 45 minutes ago."

"I'm sorry to be a pain." I apologize. "It's just that my work is sort of at a standstill right now until I get my books."

"I understand. I can tell you that the original delivery truck broke down, and a new one is being sent to the location of the first. The route should continue soon."

"Thank you so much. Have a nice day." I tell her for the fourth time today. I don't think either of us believes this will be the last time we speak today.

* * *

"Ana!" I hear Rachel, from behind me in the kitchen.

"Hey." I respond without enthusiasm.

"What's with the Eeyore voice?" She asks me.

"First of all, you watch too many kids shows." I tell her as I turn to face her. " Second of all, my release party is turning into a disaster."

"Come sit with me." Rachel gestures to the breakroom table. " Your party is not a disaster… at least not until it starts tomorrow." she jokes.

"Not helping here, Rach."

"Sorry. Listen, the books will arrive. If they don't arrive, you need to come up with a backup plan. How's your author doing?"

"Reese is okay currently. She is very nervous, but I think her major freak outs are over. It's just nerves now." I tell her.

"Well, that's good." Rachel tries to encourage me. " How about everything else?"

"That's just the thing! I can't deal with anything else right now. I can go in tomorrow to set up, but they won't let me in before then. I don't know how many hands I will have until the morning because I don't know how many interns will be in yet. The caterers come tomorrow afternoon, so I can't control that." I vent.

"I know that this sounds easier said than done, but you need to relax." She tells me as if she were talking down a bear.

I am just about to respond to her, when Hannah comes in. Hannah is an assistant here.

"Excuse me Mrs Monroe, Mrs Grey." Hannah approaches us.

"What can we help you with, Hannah?" Rachel asks.

"Ana, I've heard your office phone ringing off of the hook since you've been in here. I thought you would be right back, but when I heard the fourth or fifth call I decided to come get you." She tells me.

"Thank you so much, Hannah." I get up quickly. "I hope everything is okay."

"Let me know if you need anything, Ana." Rachel says as I rush to my office.

I hear the phone ringing as I make my way down the hall as fast as the sexy heels I'm wearing will take me. I hear the phone stop just as I reach the door. Fortunately for me, the phone starts to ring again before I have to figure out how to determine the caller.

"Hello, Anastasia Grey speaking. How can I help you today?" I answer out of breath.

"Hello Mrs Grey. My name is Alexander Jones. I am an attorney with the firm Jackson, Goldman, and Mitchell." the stranger introduces himself.

"Oh, Okay. May I ask the reason for your call?" I wonder as I feel my heart beat fasten.

 _What could be wrong? Please don't be Christian!_

"Yes, of course." he pauses for a moment. "I am in charge of executing the will of a Jessica Daniels."

 _Phew. Not Christian._

"I'm sorry but I am not sure what this has to do with me." I explain.

"Through some discovery, it has been ascertained that Miss Daniels was your cousin." He tells me, confusing me more. "Miss Daniels' mother appears to be the sister of your father, Frank Lambert."

"Oh. That makes sense. I'm sorry to hear of her passing, but again I must question what this has to do with me. You see, I never knew Frank: he passed away the day after I was born."

"I know this seems a little unorthodox, Mrs Grey. However, I wish to meet with you to discuss Miss Daniels' will." He tells me.

"Meet with me? Is that really necessary?" I wonder.

"It is _definitely_ necessary, Mrs Grey." He insists.

"Okay, I guess I can meet with you. When would you like to meet?" I ask, trying to mask my curiosity.

"Today would be best."

"Today? As in _today_?" I ask incredulously.

"Indeed. There are a few matters to discuss, some of which are extremely time sensitive."

"I don't know if I can do that Mr Jones. I am very busy with work today. I may even be working late into the night." I say.

"I do apologize for the timing of my call, but I assure you that this is necessary." he says firmly.

"Uh… I guess I will see what I can do." I say, my curiosity peaked once again. "I have to make a few calls. What time would be good for me to come to your office? Where _is_ your office? I probably should have asked that first."

 _Don't babble, Ana._

"Our offices are located on Cherry Street, right down from the City Hall building. Come in at any time. Tell reception you are there to meet with me, and tell them your name. I will make sure that they come get me immediately."

"Thank you, Mr Jones. I guess I'll be seeing you soon."

"Before you go, if it is possible, you may want to ask your husband to join you." he says.

"Christian? Why? What does this have to do with him?" I ask suspiciously.

"I find that in matters dealing with the settling of estates that it is always good to have some moral support." he tells me.

I thank Mr Jones for his time and hang up.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hi everyone! This chapter starts the real plot of the story. I hope you like where I'm going with this, and I'm sure you will know where I'm going by the end of this chapter. Thanks for reading.**

* * *

ch 3

"Hello, Grey Enterprises Holdings. This is Andrea speaking. How may I help you?" I hear from the other end of the phone.

"Hi, Andrea. This is Ana. Is Christian available?" I ask her.

I immediately tried to call my husband's cell phone following the call from Mr Jones, but it went straight to voicemail. Now I am trying to get him at the office.

"Hi, Mrs Grey. Mr Grey isn't here right now. He had to make a spur of the moment trip to your alma mater, actually. He said he was going to email you about it." She tells me.

"Oh. Alright then." I fail to mask my disappointment. "Thanks, Andrea. I'll talk to you later."

"Have a nice day, Mrs Grey."

 _Now what do I do?_

I open up my email and see Christian's name in my inbox. I feel butterflies just at the sight of his name. _You've got it bad, Steele… Grey._

From: Christian Trevelyan Grey

To: Anastasia Grey

Subject: Incompetent Fuckers

Hey baby. I'm sorry to tell you this over email, but I am on my way to the airstrip. Jason and I have to head over to the university. It would seem that the only way to get things done is to do it yourself.

I got a phone call this morning from one of the other potential investors in the agriculture project I've created up there. It would seem that they went on a tour of my supposed creation, only to find a bunch of stoned college kids pretending to be PhD candidates.

The project is far from on schedule, and I have been forced to realize that these "workers" are not to be trusted.

Now I have to go fly there, fire those fat fucks, and start from square one on this project.

I feel exhausted and I haven't even gotten in the air yet.

I wish I could hear your voice. You tend to dial my rage down a bit. Unfortunately for those fucking potheads, I will be in a full on Grey rage. I know how busy you are today, so I thought an email would allow you to hear from me at your convenience.

I love you, my sweet Anastasia.

I will be home before you go to bed tonight.

xxxx Christian

Christian Trevelyan Grey, CEO Grey Enterprises Holdings

 _Great! Now I have to go to see a lawyer for a relative I didn't know I had, by myself, and have to worry about Christian flying again._

"AGGGGGHH!" I growl at my computer screen.

"Everything okay, Ana?" I hear Rachel say from my office doorway.

"No." I tell her as I lay my head on my desk.

"Uh oh." Rachel walks into the room, and sits in the chair across from my desk. "Tell mama _all_ about it?"

"That phone call from earlier?" I ask her, only continuing once she nods in recognition. "A lawyer."

"Why was a lawyer hounding you?"

"It appears that I had a cousin I didn't know about, and she has passed away. The lawyer would like to see me ASAP to discuss her estate."

"Oh. So was she like rich or something? Not that you need anymore wealth." She teases me.

"I have no idea what he wants to discuss with me. He was very vague, but he was insisting that I had to come in today." at this she looks shocked. "He told me this issue was time sensitive. I said that it wasn't a good time for me, but he said that whenever I got there that he would see me. I wonder if this is what life is going to be like for Mrs Christian Grey."

"That is entirely possible. You'll always have people bending over backwards just to impress you. Did you tell Christian about it?"

"I tried, but it would appear that he had to take care of some business last minute, and out of town. He sent me an email about it. He says he will be home tonight. The only problem is that the last time he was in a helicopter, he crashed. Add all of that on top of the stress of this damn book delivery, and I'll have a migraine by two."

"Yikes. How about this? Call your stud of a body guard, have him take you over to the law office. Deal with that right away. Sooner is always better. While you are gone I will continue to berate the delivery company. With all of that going on, Christian will be home before you know it." Rachel offers.

"I love you. Have I told you that today?" I ask her

"No, but you might want to keep that down around your hubby. I don't need a jealous CEO on my case." she winks at me, getting up to leave my office.

"Thanks, Rach. I'll come see you when I get back."

Rachel closes the door behind her after she gives me a soft wave and a smile. I'm so glad that my boss is my newest best friend. I take a deep breath and rub my fingers along my scalp, a vain attempt to get rid of some of the tension in my life. On more cleansing breath and I call Sawyer.

"Ma'am?" he says as a greeting.

"Once again, it's Ana." I gently scold. "I have to make a trip, so I need you to pull the car around."

"Yes, Ana. May I ask where we are going?" He asks, I'm sure wondering if he needs to run this past Taylor.

"I just received a call from an attorney. Apparently I have a relative who has passed away. I tried to contact Christian, but he must be in the air."

"The air, ma'am?" he questions.

"He and Taylor are flying to a work problem."

"I'll be waiting at the front door Mrs Grey."

* * *

"Welcome to Jackson, Goldman, and Mitchell. How may I assist you?" a middle aged woman asks from behind the reception desk in the lobby of the law firm.

"Hi. I'm Ana Grey. I'm here to see Mr Jones." I tell her, noticing her eyes widen a bit.

 _Yes, I'm_ that _Ana Grey._

"Of course, Mrs Grey. Have a seat while a call him for you."

I take a seat next to Sawyer, who has stationed himself in full view of all entrances. _Could you be any more conspicuous?_

About a minute after a sit, I see an african american man of mid thirties approach me. He is dressed in an expensive suit, but not nearly as expensive as the ones Christian wears. _Then again, who_ does _wear suits as expensive as Christian?_ He smiles at me and eyes Sawyer up.

"Mrs Grey, I'm Alex Jones." he offers me his hand to shake.

"Pleasure to meet you Mr Jones. Please call me Ana." I say as I rise to shake his hand. "This is my CPO, Luke Sawyer."

"Nice to meet you both." Mr Jones says, then gestures to the hallway from which he just came. "Please follow me."

The three of us walk to an elevator, taking it up to the tenth floor. When we get out a take a deep breath. It would seem that I'm more nervous than I thought. I sort of feel like I'm being called to the principal's office.

We reach a corner office, and are offered seats across from Mr Jones' desk. I sit, but Sawyer insists on standing by the door.

"Thank you for meeting me on such short notice." he acknowledges, I nod to him. "Is your husband coming?"

"He couldn't make it." I explain. "He had to fly out for business."

"Well then, I guess I will just jump into it." he takes a deep breath, setting me further on edge. "As I said on the phone, you had a cousin named Jessica Daniels. Miss Daniels was in a motor vehicle accident early Tuesday morning. She was hit by a swerving truck, and due to the severe storm we had, she hydroplaned and crashed into the guardrail of an overpass." I gasp hearing this. "Her vehicle went off the edge of the overpass, and she passed on."

I start to tear up thinking how scared she had to be. I never met this girl, I have no emotional connection to her, but as a fellow human I feel for her. I can't imaging what went through her mind in her last moments.

"She had a will made, but it wasn't very specific. She had no family to speak of. Apparently her mother and father died a few years ago. She was twenty at the time. She did however specify that in the event of her death, she wanted the daughter of her uncle to be contacted." Mr Jones begins to explain. "For a woman of twenty five she was very responsible. I'm sure that had that driver not had too much to drink, she would still be alive and thriving."

"This is a lot to take in. So she knew about me?" I ask him.

"Yes and No. She knew that her uncle had a daughter right before he died. She also knew that you had never met them. She didn't have anyone else in her life, so she requested that we find you, and if you were willing, give you everything she had."

"Alright. You are sure you have the right girl?" I ask.

"Yes, ma'am. It may have been hard for Jessica to find you, due to your name change as a child, but attorneys have many resources available. You _are_ the cousin of Jessica." He ensures.

"So what do we do now?" I ponder aloud.

"Now I inform you about the contents of Miss Daniels' estate." he says hesitantly. "I have a letter, written for you by Miss Daniels." he pauses. "But I feel it is important to tell you something first."

 _I don't like how this sounds. She must have some giant debts or something. Maybe I'll be stuck cleaning up some huge mess._

"The main reason we are here today is because, should you agree, Miss Daniels has left you full custody of her daughter."

I hear Sawyer begin to choke from his position near the door.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that?" I ask, not believing what I heard.

"You have been left Miss Daniels' daughter."

 _I guess I heard right._


	4. Chapter 4

Ch 4

 _A kid? Some stranger left me her kid? What the fuck was she thinking! I'm a kid myself. I may be married and a college graduate, but I still feel like I have to ask my dad for permission to do things._

 _Dad! What is he gonna think? This woman was Frank's family. To tell dad about her will it make him feel like less of my dad. How do I tell him this?_

 _How do I tell Christian this?_

 _Christian…_

"Excuse me, Mrs Grey. Are you okay?" Mr Jones interrupts my internal freak out.

"I'm not to sure how I am right now." I manage to say through the sawdust I feel in my mouth.

"I understand that this is a massive shock to you." _No shit, Sherlock._ "If there was a better way to break this news to you, I would have. Do you have any questions?"

"I have too many questions, but I don't know what to ask. My mind is a little like a roller coaster of thoughts and emotions right now."

"How about I give you a few details, then you can take some time and call me when you are ready?" he suggests, I nod. "Miss Daniels' had a ten month old daughter." he pauses here.

 _Ten months._

 _Not even a year old._

 _A baby._

 _What do you do with a baby?_

"The child was left in the care of a minor at the time of the accident: her babysitter. When Jessica was pronounced dead, the girl was taken into the custody of the state. She spent the last day at a building that social services has for children. While she has been there they have had her checked by a physician for signs or abuse or neglect." My face must show my surprise here. "This is just standard procedure for them." I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Is she okay?" I croak out.

"I have been assured that she is a perfectly health baby. She has been very emotional, though. She may be young, but she is aware that her mother isn't there, plus she is being cared for by strangers."

"I don't really know what to say or do here." I confess, getting teary eyed due to feeling totally overwhelmed.

"This facility only allows a child to be there for about four days maximum. After that, if there is nowhere for them to go, he or she will be put into the care of foster parents. Hence the time sensitive comment I made earlier on the phone."

 _That's time sensitive alright._

"If you feel you can't take this child, you need to tell us." He stresses. "The girl could easily be placed with a foster family. Because she is so young she still has a good chance at being adopted. I encouraged you to bring your husband because this will affect the two of you."

 _Christian, what will you say?_

"I, or rather the social worker, will need an answer from you by Saturday afternoon."

"Um, you told me what will happen if I don't take her. What happens if I do?" I hear a voice say, and it startles me. I realize it was me talking.

"Briefly," he smiles at me. "If you decide to take her, that is you and your husband, I will notify her social worker. You would be introduced to her. You would have to attend court for the formal decree of custody. Quite frankly, the judge will keep you only a few minutes because the will named you as guardian."

"And then?" I push.

"And then you have a child." he tells me, the look on his face telling me that should have been obvious.

I sit there in silence, clutching my fingers together. I suddenly realize that I am very cold. I get a chill through my body just thinking about how cold I am.

I must have been quiet for a long time because Mr Jones is looking at me worriedly.

"Why don't you go figure out your thoughts and get back to me?" he suggests.

"Yes. That sounds good. "

I get up shakily, looking around to make sure I have everything I came in with. Triple checking my surroundings, I feel ready to go. I offer my hand to Mr Jones.

"Thank you, Mr Jones. I will call you as soon as I can." I ensure him.

"I'm sure you will." he smiles sympathetically. "Shall I walk you out?"

"No, that's okay. Luke," he turns to look at me, not expecting my use of his first name. "you can navigate us out of here right?" I joke, trying to break the tension.

"Well, I don't know." he smirks at me. "I mean, I am known for being exceptionally unobservant."

I chuckle as I follow him out.

As I enter the car I stop Luke.

"Thank you." I say

"For what?"

"For joking with me. I know you aren't always comfortable with acting casual around me. I just needed to be silly for a minute."

"I know. To be honest, so did I." he says and I give him a questioning look. "I may not have been the focus off all that information, but _fuck_ that was a lot to take in."

I start to laugh. Seeing that Luke joins in, laughing just as hard as me.

The laughter dies away and I dry my eyes of the tears I shed from laughing so hard.

Sawyer gets in the driver's seat, taking me back to my day. Somehow nothing seems the same anymore.

 _Now, how do I tell Christian?_


	5. Chapter 5

Ch 5

I enter GP sooner than I would have liked. I still can't make sense of my thoughts. I don't know what to think about this whole situation. Just as soon as I start to finish a thought, a new one starts. I walk into my office and sit on the couch in there.

I don't know how long I've been sitting here. I'm sure that it has been a long while, though.

 _Knock Knock_

I turn to look at the door.

 _Knock Knock_

I get up and open the door to see Rachel.

"Hey, Ana. When did you get back? I thought you were going to come and see me." she says

"Oh, right. I'm sorry Rach." I shake my head, trying to un-jumble my thoughts.

I step back, leaving the door open so she can come in, and go back to the couch.

"Are you okay, Ana? You look like you've seen a ghost?" she jokes.

"I am in shock I think." I admit.

"What happened? Are you okay?" Rachel begins to look worried.

"I'm fine." I tell her, but she doesn't look convinced. "I am, really. I just got some unexpected news."

"I'm here if you need to talk." she offers.

"I know, thank you. I need to talk about everything with Christian first."

"I totally get that. Just know that I'm here for you."

"Thanks."

"Onto a more fun topic: the books." she says.

 _Fuck! What else today?_

"What's going on?"

"They are assured to be here by six. Bad news in that you need to be here to sign for them. Apparently they can't leave them without _your_ signature."

"Fine. I'll be here. I could use that time to catch up on what I missed today." I breathe out.

"If that's everything, then I am out of here." Rachel says as she stands up, smoothing out her skirt. "Have a good night, Ana. Try to get some sleep tonight."

 _Yeah. Sleep. Sure._

* * *

I officially have nothing to do. It's 5:15, and I've done all the prep work I can do before tomorrow. The books still haven't arrived. Claire at reception stays until 6:30, and told me that she will ring me when they come. I lay down on my couch, and my mind starts to wander.

 _A little girl_

 _What do I do?_

 _Do I keep her?_

 _Do I put her up for adoption?_

 _What do I tell Christian?_

 _Will Christian be ready for this?_

 _Am I ready for this?_

 _She is ten months old. That poor baby hasn't even turned one, and she has lost everything._

 _What would I do with her?_

 _Christian would be so cute with a baby._

 _Wait… where did that come from?_

 _Christian Grey is a foul mouthed business tyrant, but he is such a teddy bear. He would be so protective over his child._

 _Is he even willing to have kids?_

 _Ring Ring_

I am jarred out of my thoughts by my desk phone ringing.

"Ana Grey speaking."

"Hey, Ana. This is Claire. Your much anticipated delivery has arrived. Sawyer is already here checking it."

"I'll be right there."

 _Thank God! This day is looking up._

* * *

The elevator opens onto my foyer. I smell something delectable coming from the kitchen, but I doubt I'll be able to eat it. I head for the kitchen anyway.

I turn the corner to see my husband opening a bottle of wine.

I stand there for a moment, watching him. He has the ability to make me feel safe, but also make me feel dangerous.

 _God I could look at him all day._

I let out a sigh, which he must hear because he lifts his head up. His eyes meet mine and he lets out a grin. My stomach clenches from knowing that smile is for me.

I still don't move, so Christian makes his way over to me. He simultaneously wraps one hand around my waist, bringing me into him, places the other hand at my jaw, and brings his lips down to mine. I feel his mouth touching mine ever so lightly, lingering for a moment. He pulls back just to come back in harder than before. He clasps my top lip between his two, then pries mine open to let his tongue enter. He strokes his tongue along mine, using just enough enthusiasm to drive me crazy, but not enough to tell me this will go farther than kissing. He pulls away just enough to rest his forehead against mine.

"Hey." he whispers.

"Hey."

"Would you like a glass of wine?" He asks as he clasps my hand in his, taking me over to the breakfast bar.

"Sure."

After he hands me a glass, I sit at the bar. I wonder how I will start to tell him what I need to. I can't avoid this topic because of the time restraint. I just don't know how he will react. Christian is just getting used to letting me in, how would he let in a baby. Also, this will definitely throw his sense of control right out the window. _What will he do if he loses control?_

"You okay over there, Charlie Chaplin?" Christian asks me.

"Huh?"

"The silent act you have going on." he explains. "Are you okay, baby?"

"I, um…got some news today." I begin. Christian gets a worried look in his eyes. "Don't worry, I'm fine." he breathes in relief.

"So what happened?"

"Can we go sit in the living room?" I decide to move this conversation to a more comfortable atmosphere.

"Sure, baby." He says, holding my hand as we walk to the couches.

"Okay, so what I have to tell you is crazy." I begin "I mean, really crazy. Like straight jacket kind of crazy."

"Stop babbling, hon. Just tell me." he moves a lock of hair behind my ear.

"I think the best would be for me to spit everything out. You can talk after." he nods, so I continue. "I received a call from a lawyer today." I notice curiosity showing on his face. "Mr Jones asked me to come visit his office to discuss the will of a relative of mine, that I didn't know I had. He told me I should include you, but you were already in the air at that time.

"Anyway, I go down there with Sawyer." I notice Christian seems relieved of this. "Mr Jones informed me that I had a cousin who passed away on Tuesday. She was related to me through my birth father, Frank. She and I never met, but she knew of me her whole life. She never knew about my name change to Steele, so the lawyers had to figure that out on their own.

"Her name was Jessica, and she died in a truly tragic car accident. I mean… brutal." I think about the accident again, and realize that when she was heading to her death she must have been worried about her little girl. I tear up once again. "So Jessica had no family left to speak of, so she willed everything she had to the cousin she knew was out there."

"That does sound a little crazy." Christian agrees.

"Oh, I'm not done yet." I tell him, and take a deep breath. "The main thing that was left to me is her ten month old daughter."

 _There, I've said it._

I study Christian's face for any sign of what he is thinking, but I see nothing. His gaze is focused on the back of the couch, which is just to my left as I am turned to face him.

I see him blink.

He remains quiet, but I get more nervous with each second. It's kind of like how when you are in a store and a small child has a tantrum. You see they get upset, and you know that the cry is coming, but the longer the time before that happens the louder the reaction will be.

"Christian?" he meets my eye line. "Say something, please."

"Uh, I don't know what to say." Christian croaks.

"The lawyer told me that I have until Saturday afternoon to decide what to do." I say "At that point I either take custody, or she goes into the foster system."

"Okay."

That is the last thing he says until Gail comes to tell us our dinner is ready, and that isn't until twenty five minutes later.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: Hi everybody! I'm so glad you guys are still with me here. This is just a filler chapter to get us to the next point. For that reason I'm giving you guys this midweek in addition to the new chapter this weekend. I hope everyone will enjoy the choices I have made, but not everyone will. Keep in mind that this story is HEA. Thank you all for reading!**

* * *

Ch 6

I'm laying in bed and it's Friday morning. If you would have asked me last week, I would thought the most important thing going on this week would be the book launch later today. Now, I'm contemplating motherhood, and my husband hasn't spoken to me in 12 hours. He said he had to eat in his study, and it's been radio silence since then.

 _What am I going to do?_

 _I can't do this without Christian. I need my husband. I can't raise a child without my husband, while still living with and loving my husband._

 _Maybe he just needs to process this. Christian doesn't except change well, and this is a major change._

 _I hope he can wrap his head around this fast, because I don't want to be forced to make this decision on my own._

I drag myself out of bed, dressing in professional but comfortable clothes because I will be very active today. I pull my hair back into a sleek ponytail, applying minimal makeup. In fact, I only apply concealer to the dark circles under my eyes.

I walk to the kitchen, and I see Sawyer waiting for me.

"Hey. You ready for a fun filled day?" I ask him sarcastically.

"Absolutely." he smiles

Gail emerges and asks me what I would like for breakfast.

"Actually, I think I'm gonna make Luke take me to my favorite bagel place. I think I need a little indulgence to get me through the day." I tell her. _I may as well have one thing make me happy today._

I follow Luke out the door.

 _Here we go._

* * *

 **CPOV**

"Grey." I bark into my office phone.

"Sir, this is Welch. I have the information you requested." I hear from the other side of the line.

"Good. E-mail it to me." I order and hang up.

I can't comprehend all of what Ana told me last night. A kid. A real life fucking kid. Some stranger named Ana the guardian of her baby. There is no way we could raise a kid. I mean Ana would be a natural, but me? I'm too fucked up to raise anybody, let alone a little girl.

 _Fuck! A baby girl._

I search my email, looking for one from Welch. I find it and open it, perusing what he found out.

I start reading a background check for Jessica Daniels. She seemed like a sane person, so why would she name a stranger to take care of her kid? Where's the father?

I don't find out much from the background, but I move on to the child's records. I made sure that Welch black out her name: I want info, but I don't want to know more than Ana.

The girl seems to be a typical, healthy baby. It says that her father is deceased as well. Again I don't pry more without Ana.

I search though all the documents that Welch has sent me, and I still feel like I have no answers.

I can't be a father. Ana can't take this child. She is only twenty two, she can't be ready to me a mother. Maybe I can tell her that we can talk about kids after five years if she wants to me a mom. _Not that my mind will have changed by then._

Maybe I can pull some strings to assure the child will be placed in a forever home. I know that every child deserves to be adopted, and an orphaned little girl is no exception. I may not be able to give her the home she needs, but I am Christian Grey, and I am sure that I can find her someone to give her what she needs.

I hear my phone signal a message: It's from Ana.

Hey, hon. Just wanted to remind you about the launch party tonight. I hope you are still coming as my date. xx

 _Fuck! The launch party. I completely forgot. Of course I will go, but I'm dreading having to talk to people politely when I feel like my world is in an uproar._

I text her back

 **Hey, yourself. I'll be there. What time do we have to leave Escala?**

Her response is immediate.

The party starts at seven. I have to be there by 6:30 to check everything. See you at home. xx

I think about going though the entire night with the Sword of Damocles hanging over my head, and decide to take control back.

 **Would it be possible for us to meet that lawyer today?**

I guess so… do you want me to call him?

 **Please do. I'll make whatever work.**

I sit there staring at the text screen, waiting for those little dots that tell me she is typing.

 _How long does it take?_

I gasp when I see the dots appear.

Mr Jones has agreed to meet us at 3. I can leave then, and go home to get ready after. Is that fine?

 **Absolutely. I'll meet you there.**

I look at the clock on the wall: 11:37. Good, this will be over in less than four hours.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's note: Hi everyone. Glad you are still reading. I just wanted to address two things. I had a guest review talking about adoption and how it isn't bad to put a child up for adoption to a loving family. I totally agree with that. My best friend was adopted and I am grateful that she had that opportunity. For the sake of this story all of the facts to do with adoption are fictional. I am molding things to fit my story, so they are entirely made up. My goal here is to show how people facing this situation may think in the beginning, and see where they can grow once they start to learn how things really are with adoption. The next point I want to make** **preemptively is that my story will hopefully be more about emotional growth, so don't judge any actions too harshly here. Think about who the characters are and what their motivations could be. I hope you all stick with me to see how my characters will learn and grow. Sorry for the long AN. Thanks for reading.**

* * *

Ch 7

I'm sitting in Mr Jones' office, just about 24 hours after the last time. This time I know why I am here, yet I am no more at ease. Christian is on his way here, but I don't know what to make of him.

 _Why would Christian want to meet with the lawyer to talk when he hasn't said two words to me about the issue?_

I take a deep breath, trying to keep my mind focused on the small talk that Mr Jones is trying to have with me. He stops talking as his office door opens and my husband walks in.

Christian walks to Mr Jones, shakes his hand, kisses me on the top of the head, and sits down.

 _That's weird. Christian never fails to greet me with a dazzling kiss. Then again, he never fails to kiss me goodbye in the morning either._

"I'm glad you could come in today, Mr Grey." I hear Mr Jones say.

"Yes. I apologize that I couldn't come yesterday. I believe I am all caught up on the subject, though."

 _Caught up? He was practically comatose the last day._

"I understand. Is there anything I can clear up for you two? Have you reached a decision?" the lawyer says.

"I was wondering what it would entail to place the child in an adoptive family?" I hear escape from Christian's mouth.

 _Adoptive family?_

"Well, that would mean you, or rather Mrs Grey, would relinquish rights to custody. Then the child would be placed in foster care. She would be eligible for adoption from that point, but there is no real rhyme or reason to how children get adopted."

"I see." Christian pauses. "So there is no guarantee that the child would be adopted? Even though she is still so young?"

"I, myself, am not well versed in adoption law. I deal with settling estates, and basic transfer of custody in cases like these." Jones starts to explain. "In cases where the guardian gives up his or her rights, I usually pass the case along to social services. Due to this, I may not be the best person to answer this. However, I _do_ know that there are never any guarantees with adoption. Even where a mother chooses the parents there are no guarantees. In the case of orphaned children, there truly is no sure path for the child."

Christian looks thoughtful at this, maybe picturing how his _own_ life could have turned out had it not been for Grace.

"If we do accept custody of her, would it be just me, or the both of us?" I ask

I see Christian's head snap towards me, looking at me like I just spoke a made up language.

"The courts would have to amend the custody decree to add Mr Grey's name, but it would be no problem to do since you are married."

 _Good. There is one thing that is easy to do here._

"And if custody is relinquished?" I hear Christian ask. "Would that be Ana, or the both of us?"

 _Why don't you tell us what you really think, Christian? Can't even consider taking her in?_

"That would be just Mrs Grey who would sign off. Right now she is the only one on paperwork for the little girl, so she would be the only one who would have to sign her rights away."

"That makes sense." Christian says. "You said you need an answer by tomorrow?"

"That is correct. I need a decision by tomorrow afternoon." Jones says to my husband, but looks at me as he speaks.

I decide to take control back on this meeting, and end it before Christian makes a decision on his own.

"Thank you for your time, Mr Jones. We really need to confer on this by ourselves, but we will let you know as soon as we can." I announce.

Christian looks at me a little but irritatedly, probably pissed that I took the reigns from him.

* * *

 **CPOV  
**

"I don't normally suggest this," Jones begins. "but it might do you some good to meet the girl."

 _The fuck? Meet the child? What the fuck is that going to do? We can't take her, so what difference will it make to see her?_

I look at Ana, and she seems to be considering this.

 _I can't let this happen. This child can not come with us. I can't do the father thing. If Ana sees the child she will want the child._

"Maybe my wife and I should discuss all of this, and let you know if we would like to meet the child." I insert myself into the conversation.

Ana looks at me, and I can't quite discern the look on her face. Confused? Angry? Disappointed?

"Very well, Mr and Mrs Grey. Please call me by 8 am if you would like to meet her, and I _will_ need a custody decision by 3 tomorrow. That gives enough time to make arrangements for the child."

"Thank you, Mr Jones." I hear Ana say as she grabs her things and heads to the door, avoiding looking in my direction.

I follow Ana out the door, down the hallway and into the elevator. When we reach the ground floor and pass through the front doors, Ana finally looks at me.

"I'll see you at Escala."

And with that she enters Sawyer's SUV, leaving me standing on the sidewalk. I finally turn to Taylor after I see Ana's vehicle leave my eye line. He opens my door for me before he gets in and starts to drive.

 _Here goes nothing._


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: Hi everyone. Glad you are still with me. :) Christian and Ana are finally going to talk to each other, but this is just the beginning. Let me know what you think.**

* * *

Ch 8

I can't believe Christian. The more I think about how he has been acting, the more upset I get at him. He may not have done much, but it was enough to make me feel like I'm not an equal in my marriage.

Christian starts off by not talking to me, then he doesn't say goodbye to me before he goes to work. This isn't too bad in the scheme of things, but he was shutting me out. I thought he needed time to process, but it seems he processed faster than I did.

He came into the attorney's office like he was in the board room. He may have kissed my head, but for Christian that was like a nod in greeting rather than a warm hug. I know I sound crazy, but he really made me feel like he kissed me because he felt he had to, and that's new for us. Either the honeymoon is over, or he shuts down when he needs control.

What I really can't believe is how he seemed completely unwilling to accept the baby. I know that Christian has a troubled past, but I would think that as a former orphaned child that he would want to help. He, himself, was in foster care for a short while. In fact, he should be more willing to pay it forward than I am.

I keep replaying the look that Christian shot me when I asked about accepting custody. I know that he much look at his inferiors in Grey House much worse than that, but I really felt like I was meant to be beneath him. This is _my_ inheritance, for lack of a better word. He can't make this choice without me.

The SUV pulls into the parking garage as I fume about the control freak I live with. I see Christian's vehicle pull in, but for the first time I don't want to pause and wait for him. I walk straight to the elevator with Sawyer. I punch in the code for the penthouse, and then the door close button. Sawyer gives me a questioning look, but I only give him a slight shake of my head and remain silent.

I walk into the living room, slip my shoes off, and lay on my favorite couch. I close my eyes, and try to relax before Christian comes in.

 _Ding_

The elevator opens, and I hear the sound of Fendi shoes against tile. The sound grows nearer to me, but I don't make any movement.

"What happened back there?" I hear Christian ask

"You're asking _me_?" I ask as I open my eyes to glare at him. "What the fuck were _you_ doing?"

"I was gathering information that we need. What about you?" he says with some irritation.

"Information _we_ need?" he nods. "Because I was under the impression that this information was for you. I mean… you clearly didn't want to hear me talking."

"Don't start shit, Ana." Christian says as if I exhaust him. He sits on the coffee table, facing me.

"Really? Because this whole business has to do with _me_ , and yet you've been able to make it about _you_." I say as I sit up.

"Come on, Ana. I'm just thinking with a level head here: the child has to go into foster care." he condescends to me.

"Has to? _Has to?_ According to whom?"

"According to common sense. I can't be a father now, and you are too young to be a mother. It comes down to plain and simple facts."

I start to tear up out of frustration.

"For a smart man, you don't see much do you?" I say, and Christian looks insulted. _Good_. "A child doesn't come down to facts. You can't treat a child like a business. A child comes down to love, support, guidance, and putting someone else's needs before your own. The question shouldn't be if a child will fit into our lives, it should be whether we are a fit for her."

Christian looks at me, no emotion showing on his face.

"Now you are acting hysterical." Christian declares as he gets up to walk into the kitchen.

I want to scream at him for using the word hysterical, but I don't. When I hear him grabbing a wine glass I follow after him.

"Why are you _so_ against this?" I ask

"Why are you _so for_ this?" he counters.

"I'm not. I can't decide what is best, but I'm trying to search my soul for what is right." I tell him.

"Then how do you know that what's best isn't letting the child go?"

"Stop saying the child!" I finally break. "We may not know her name, but she is a she. She is a little girl, a baby. I living, breathing girl that needs a vote here. She is not a piece of paper or an idea… she is a person. Did you realize that you haven't referred to her as anything but 'the child'?"

"I hadn't realized, but I don't see what difference it makes." Christian says as he stares into his wine glass.

"The difference is that you are using that term to distance yourself from the reality. The less you humanize her, the easier it is to cast her off." I reply, to which she scoffs.

"You are _really_ overanalyzing me here."

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Either way, please stop calling her 'the child' like you're Ebenezer Scrooge." I see him almost smile at this reference.

"Well, what _are_ you thinking we should do?" he asks quietly.

"I don't know. I wasn't planning on motherhood now, especially to a child that was orphaned, but I want to do right by her.

"When my birth father died, Ray stepped in. My mother, God love her, has never been very responsible. If it weren't for Ray, I don't know where any of us would be right now."

I see Christian nod along with what I'm saying.

"I've also been thinking about you." At this he meets my gaze. "You may not have lived the best life, but I've thought about how you were adopted and given love. Where would you be if you had been left to the Detroit foster system?"

Christian begins to look thoughtful.

"All of that makes sense, Ana." He chuckles at my look of surprise. "What I have been thinking is that I am just learning to tolerate touch, to tolerate love. How is that what a child, sorry a baby, needs? I don't know how to do any of it, or _if_ I can do any of it. I don't know if I can be a father at all."

 _Whoa._ I feel like the air is knocked out of me. He may never be able to be a father? So what does that mean for me? Do I never get to raise a family with the man I love?

"What are you thinking, baby?" I hear from across the counter.

 _Baby, he calls me. Funny how he has no problem now._

"I don't know." we are silent for a while before I tell him what I want. "I think I want to meet her."

Christian looks at me with shock and maybe a little fear.

"Why?" he whispers.

"I just feel like I will just _know_ what to do when I see her."

Silence.

"Okay. Set it up." Christian says.

"I guess I'll call Mr Jones."

I turn around to look for my bag with my phone. He answers the call promptly, and lets me know that social services will allow us to come in at ten am tomorrow morning. I end the conversation and walk back to the kitchen.

"We have an appointment at ten tomorrow." I tell Christian.

Christian places his glass on the countertop, then rounds the corner to approach me. I look up at him, wondering what we are going to do.

I see my husband open his arms wide, beckoning me into his hold. I move to him and wrap my arms around him, and breathe him in. I close my eyes as I let myself enjoy this moment. I hope that now that the physical distance is gone that the emotional distance will be gone as well.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hi all! Here we finally get into some of the meat of the story. Unfortunately, it won't be smooth sailing after this though. Thanks so much for reading and Reviewing. Until next time!  
**

* * *

Ch. 9

I'm sitting on the floor of the Great Room, looking out the giant windows. I haven't been able to sleep all night, and watching the Seattle rain teem down seems to be the only thing bringing me a sense of calm. I glance at my phone to check the time: 5:54. I have been sitting here for about an hour, but the sky hasn't lightened much yet.

I begin to think back to twelve hours ago.

 _I apply some mascara and lip gloss, then look at my self in the mirror. I can't be bothered to do any more, so this is as good as it will get. If I wasn't so irritated and stressed out I might have decided to dress up to tease Christian until the night is through. Fat chance now._

 _I knock on the door to Christian's office._

 _"_ _Come in."_

 _I open the door and enter the room._

 _"_ _I'm ready."_

 _He nods to me._

 _I walk out to the foyer by the elevator, waiting for Christian and our security. We all make our way to our SUV for the night. As soon as we enter the venue I move as far away from Christian as I can. I'm so mad at Christian, but I also hate being around him when he isn't being the man I know, and for this I need space._

 _Rachel knows something is wrong, but she has thankfully not pushed me to talk. I spend the whole night schmoozing people, trying to keep busy, and yet I fail to keep my mind occupied._

 _I lay in bed later, pretending to sleep, ignoring my sleeping husband next to me._

I come back to the present and I see a text from Grace.

 **The press is raving about your launch, sweetheart. Congratulations.**

 _At least I pulled it off._

I look out the windows again. I wonder how I will make it through the next few hours until our appointment, and then how to deal with everything after that.

I'm still of two minds with the thoughts of the little girl. I hate not being able to know what to do, and I hate that it isn't just me who this effects. I really want to call my dad to ask him what to do, but that makes me feel like a kid, and a kid shouldn't be thinking of having a kid.

* * *

Taylor is holding my car door open, and I can't believe how nervous I am. I'm just outside of the Social Services building, and it may be the Lit major in me trying to analyze things, but the size of this building seems to symbolize the size of this decision.

 _Stop being dramatic._ I scold myself.

"Ready?" I hear Christian say in a very quiet voice.

I nod, not being able to clear the frog from my throat.

I walk up to the front desk, trying to tell myself to act like a grownup.

"Hi. I'm Ana Grey, Mr Jones set up an appointment for me and my husband." I say when it is my turn.

"Yes, I see you in the system. I'll let the social worker know, and she will come to get you. You may have a seat while you wait." the receptionist tells me.

Our group makes our way to some chairs, in silence.I glance around the room and I see all types of brochures. I decide to look at these brochures to give me something to do with my nervous energy. I see there is material for child abuse, fostering, and adopting. Each of these groups has at least ten pamphlets. A part of me wants to read them all, just to give me something to do.

Finally, I hear my name called. I look over and see a woman who looks to be in her mid forties. She smiles at me as I come over to her. I glance back to see if Christian is coming, and he looks a little frozen, but quickly composes himself.

"Hello Mr and Mrs Grey. My name is Helen McNamara." she shakes both of our hands. "Please follow me to my office." I give her a confused look, since I thought I was here to see the baby. "I want to talk to you for a minute before we go into the infant room."

As we are seated, Mrs McNamara begins to prep us.

"I just want to give you two some information before we go in to see the child in question." without complaint, she continues on. "If you two aren't familiar with infants…" we shake our heads. "then I'll let you know some things. At her age she can crawl some. She sits on her own, and plays. Most children at this age are wary of strangers, and I'm afraid that her being around strangers without her mother has been taxing on her. She has adjusted some, but she may not be totally comfortable with you right away. She also is eating some solid foods, in addition to formula."

Neither Christian or I say anything. I don't even know what I _would_ say.

"In a few minutes I will take you to her." Mrs McNamara says. "There are caregivers in there, of course, but feel free to hold her or play with her to all of your comforts. Whenever you are ready to leave just make sure that a caregiver knows, so that she will be properly supervised. Any questions?"

We shake our heads once again.

"In that case," she smiles again. "Let's go introduce you so little Miss Daniels."

* * *

I now know what true anxiety is as we stand at the door to the infant room. Somewhere in there is a little girl that may come home with us. There is a little girl who is a relative of mine, and counting on me, in that room.

I clasp Christian's hand, surprising both of us. I look into his eyes, take a deep breath, then look forward again. I know that both of us need to feel united right now. I can feel the tension coming off of my husband, and it mirrors my own, but we will make it through together.

As the door opens I hear mild crying sound, some cooing, and very soft lullaby music. I see cribs lined up along the far wall. Each crib has a name on the wall above it, specifying the name of each baby. There are a few Rocking Chairs near the cribs, one being occupied by a woman rocking a little boy. Closer to us I see a few older women sitting on the rug, playing with babies. The room seems like a day care, and the caregivers seem warm to the children. _At least the baby has been taken care of._

Mrs McNamara waits for us to catch up, since it seems we all paused just inside the door. She asks us to make sure the door is closed, for safety. We follow her to the right side of the room, where we see a caregiver watching over two children who are playing with interactive toys.

"Mr and Mrs Grey, this is Mary, one of our volunteers." McNamara introduces us. "And this little girl is Harper Valerie Daniels." She lifts up one of the little girls and turns her to face us.

Harper burrows into Mrs McNamara, so we can't see her right away. Somehow, just seeing her in the flesh makes this more real.

"Hi Harper." I whisper, not wanting to scare her.

Her little head peaks up from the shoulder it was on. I see blue eyes looking back at me. She is so cute: dark hair, big eyes, and light freckles along her nose. I see she has on a pink dress with matching pink tights and sneakers.

"Can you wave?" McNamara asks Harper.

Harper just keeps staring at me, almost like she can see through me. She glances at Christian quickly before looking back at me.

"This is what I meant by being wary of strangers." McNamara explains.

"Maybe we should let her play and she would feel more comfortable." I hear myself say.

Harper is lowered to the floor, back to the toy she had a moment ago. I look at the toy she has: it is one of those things where you push or slide a button and a character pops up. She pushes the middle button and a monkey pops up. She pushes the monkey down and repeats the motion.

I let go of Christian's hand and lower myself to the floor next to Harper. She looks at me, but then goes back to her toys. I stay like that for a moment, letting her get used to me next to her. I look at Christian and he looks like he is carved out of stone. I would think he stopped breathing if it weren't for the fact that he hasn't turned blue yet.

"Hi, Harper. Do you like the monkey?" I ask her. "What does this one do?" I slide the lever next to the monkey button and a giraffe pops up. "Ooh, look! A giraffe!" I smile to her, and she smiles back.

 _I'm in!_

I keep playing with the buttons on the pop up toy with her. After a few rounds I feel a little more comfortable with her.

"Do you want to sit with me?" I ask her and hold my arms out. I'm relieved when she leans towards me.

I pick the little girl up and settle her on my lap before pulling the same toy over to us.

"Christian?" I ask him. "Come sit."

I see Christian sit and I almost laugh at the absurdity of my husband sitting on the floor of an infant room in his overly expensive suit. I reach my hand to his so he comes right next to us, and I keep hold of him.

"Harper?" I say, and she looks up at me. "Can you say hi?" I point to Christian.

Harper looks at him, then at my smiling face, and back. I give him a look like he should say something.

"Hi." he says in a voice much softer than I thought he was capable of.

Harper giggles at Christian. I join in when I hear her, and I see Christian's shoulders relax just a little.

I continue to play with Harper, Christian at my side. Christian doesn't say or do much besides hold my hand and smile when Harper babbles at him.

I know what I want to do, but I am even more scared than when I wasn't sure.

"Mrs McNamara?" I ask her. "Is there somewhere my husband and I can talk in private?"

"Of course." she says coming to us from her spot along the wall. "I'll let you use my office."

"I have to get up Harper." I tell the girl as I lift her from me. I pass her along to her caregiver, then press a kiss to her tiny fist before leaving the room.

* * *

CPOV

"Hi, Harper." I hear my wife say.

I see the little creature in question lift her head up and I swear I feel my heart stop. This little thing is a mini Anastasia. She has Ana's chestnut hair, deep blue eyes, and shy demeanor.

I imagine that this is what Ana looked like as a baby. I know that there is talking around me, but I can't focus on anything but the baby. I can't believe that this child isn't born of Ana.

Ana lets go of my hand to sit down with the child.

I know I should move, but I can't.

I can't be a father.

I look at the mini Ana, sitting with my Ana. I don't know if I can do this.

What if the child touches my chest? I don't want to hurt a baby.

How do I let little Ana go into the system? What if she doesn't get adopted? Jones says she could stay in the foster care system.

A see a young Ana, growing up in a home without proper parents. I see her moving around every so often, never feeling settled or at home.

But how do I do this? I'm not made for this.

"Christian?" I look down to my baby, sitting with her clone on her lap. "Come sit with us."

I sit down next to them, holding Ana's hand. I feel like her small fingers are the only thing tethering me to this earth.

"Harper? Can you say hi?" Ana points to me.

The baby does nothing, so Ana gives me a look to do something.

"Hi." I manage to say.

I hear the tiniest little giggle come from the little girl. She must find my anxiety funny. Ana joins in on her laugh, and the sound is melodic.

I say nothing else, letting the girls play.

My wife asks for a room so we may speak.

* * *

APOV

I close McNamara's office door behind Christian and myself. I wonder how to start this conversation, but I decide that I don't want any space between us. I take both of Christian's hands in my own, and sit us down.

"So… Harper." I say.

"Harper." he says, meeting my eyes.

"Is it me or did everything get more real?" I joke.

"It certainly did." he agrees.

"What do you want to do, hon? What are you comfortable with?" I ask my husband.

"I don't know what to do, Ana. I never thought I could be a father." he starts to explain. "Hell, I'm still learning how to let you and my family in."

"I know." I tell him.

"What do we do, baby?"

"I don't know. I look at her, and can't imagine her having to live an unsteady life when we could help, but I don't know how to be a mom." I tell him as I start to cry a little.

"You'll be a great mom, Ana." Christian tells me, and I cry a little more.

"I want to help her." I confess. "I don't want to lose you, though." I voice my biggest fear.

"You won't lose me." he says, then pulls me into his lap.

I let the feeling of his arms relax me.

"Look at me." he commands, and I do. "Let's get the social worker in here to talk about our options."

I stand up, wipe at my eyes, then open the door. I glance down the hallway and see McNamara a few doors down.

"You two ready to talk?" she asks and I nod.

"What are our options?" Christian asks her.

"Well," McNamara breathes in. "you can relinquish your rights. Then that is all. You can also take custody."

"And if we take custody?" I ask.

"You take her home. There may have to be a home visit. You will be allowed to adopt her, should you chose, at a later time. If you feel like you can't do this, you _can_ change your mind, but not once the permanent custody is granted." she tells us.

I look to Christian, and he holds his hand out for mine. He takes our hands to his mouth, lets out a shaky breath, and kisses my palm. He nods his eyes ever so slightly, but enough that I get his message. I look at the social worker.

"We're gonna take her home." I say and squeeze Christian's hand.

"Wonderful!" McNamara enthuses. "It may take some time to draw up the paperwork. Maybe you would like to go have lunch and come back around 2."

"That sounds like an _excellent_ idea." Christian say, and I roll my eyes, knowing he is alluding to my lack of a breakfast.

"Then maybe we could shop for some things for her, like a carseat." I say. "What sizes does she wear right now?" I ask McNamara.

McNamara pulls out Harper's file.

"It says here she is in 9-12 month clothes, and a size 3 diaper." I nod in understanding.

The woman stands, and we follow suit.

"I'll see you two soon. Congratulations!"

Christian places his hand on my lower back, guiding me out.

"Where to, Sir?" Taylor asks from the front seat of the SUV.

"The Mile High Club." he instructs, then pulls out his phone. "Welch. Find me the safest car seat on the market. Get back to me within the hour." he pauses. "Yes I said car seat. Just do it."

"You know? Some say rolling your eyes is rude." I tease Christian.

"Is that so?" he raises an eyebrow at me.I nod. "My apologies."

He leans over and kisses me, and I feel like my man is back.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Just a little fluffy filler. See you guys soon. Thanks for reading and reviewing. :)  
**

* * *

Ch 10

I can't believe the reality of my situation. I am currently walking into Babies R Us with Christian Grey. I never thought Christian would ever set foot in a place like this. It wasn't too hard to convince him since we have a time limit, and he couldn't order someone to do it for him.

Over lunch we talked. We decided that we would make the room across from ours into Harper's room. We also made a list of everything we need, and Christian got Welch doing more research on cribs, high chairs, and baby gates.

 _How did life change so quickly?_

I grab a cart and set off to the clothes section: the fun section.

"Why aren't we going to get the car seat now?" Christian asks.

"Why carry something around the whole store that we can grab at the end?" I answer, and he nods in agreement.

I decide that we just need some basics for the first little while: I can always shop later. I rifle through the layers of pink, asking Christian's opinion on everything. He just nods and continues looking at his blackberry. _Men._ I grab tutus and leggings, shirts and sweaters. I put socks in the basket, and not knowing her shoe size, decide to buy her more later.

I look for Christian, and see him stopped a bit away from me.

"What are you looking at, hon?" I ask as I go over to him.

"Winter coats." he says as he examines them all.

"Oh! Good idea. That's why I keep you around: that logical brain of yours." I tease.

I see Christian pull out the brightest pink winter jacket that they have. It is so cute. And Christian picking it out: so much cuter.

"9-12 months, right?" he asks. "It doesn't seem big enough. Maybe we should go a size up."

"Why don't you grab both." I suggest. "If it's too small we return it. If it isn't, then we have one for her to grow into."

Christian nods along, placing the coats in the cart.

I direct us to the diaper area. Christian picks up a small package and is about to put it in the cart when Taylor clears his throat.

"Yes, Taylor?" Christian asks, almost daring Taylor to talk.

"Sir, with all do respect, that amount of diapers won't get you anywhere." Christian looks at him questioningly. "She will probably use at least 6 per day, and that is a 12 pack."

"Really?"Christian asks. "Good call." he returns the small pack and picks up a box full of diapers.

I grab a box full of wipes, diaper cream, baby shampoo, and some baby soap. I also see some rubber duckies, and have to buy them. I can just picture that little meatball sitting in the tub with the little ducks.

Next we head to the toy department. Thankfully the toys all have age ranges on them. I grab a few that are in her range, but I see Christian add toys a little more advanced. He must anticipate her being a smart girl. I want her to have stuff to keep her occupied, but I also want to grab some stuffed toys for her to cuddle, so I show Christian a bunch of choices.

"Get them all." he says, so I do.

I see pacifiers along a shelf with bibs. I place a ton of bibs in the cart, then grab some pacifiers.

"Really? You want her to have one of those?" Christian asks me.

"Better her have that then sucking her thumb." I reason. "The binky we can take away, her thumb on the other hand…"

"And that's why you are the college grad." he teases me.

I'm so glad that my Christian is back.

We outfit Harper with everything, and I don't know what we didn't buy from that store. Christian arranged for all of the furniture to be shipped to Escala right away. We keep the car seat, her coat, a binky, and a stuffed bunny. Every thing else heads home a head of us.

Thank God for Jason Taylor, because he actually knows how to install the car seat.

"Shouldn't it face forward?" Christian asks, acting like he knows better.

"Actually, sir, children are supposed to be rear facing until they are around 2 years old." he informs us, and I have to hold back my laugh at Christian's face when he is set straight.

"I don't like this." Christian says to me over the car seat as we drive. "You are too far away." he pouts.

"Don't give me that face, Grey. You know that this is the safest way for the baby." I tell him, appealing to his overprotective nature.

"I know."

I grab his hand, and pull it to my mouth to kiss.

"Let's go get our girl." I tell him.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Hi all! I've had a busy few weeks, but I'm back with an update. I hope you enjoy :)**

* * *

Ch 11

"Please initial here and here." Mrs McNamara directs me. "This is acknowledging that you are adding on a person to the custody. Next you will sign the agreement naming Mr Grey as the added guardian."

I feel like my hand will soon fall off from signing my name. I even have to spell my name aloud in my head because I'm starting to forget letters.

"Now, Mr Grey. I need you to sign here and here, also initial and date here please." McNamara points everything out.

"Okay." She smiles at us as she collects the papers. "That's all the paperwork for today. Monday at court you may have more to do. Here is your copy." She hands over a stack of notarized papers. "Shall we?" she motions to the door.

Christian and I walk hand in hand back to the infant room. I get a feeling of butterflies knowing that _my kid_ is in there. _Slow down, Ana._ I know I'm in for a rude awakening and a crash course on parenting but I can't help but be excited to see that little face again.

I look around for Harper, my eyes moving so fast that I'm sure I look like a crazy person. I see her with her caregiver, Mary. I pull Christian over to them, hoping she is okay with coming with us. Harper is pointing to pictures in a book as Mary tells her what each item is.

"Hi." I say.

"Harper, look who's here?" Mary says and points to Christian and I.

Harper looks at us confused, but eventually gives us a smile. _So far so good._

"Are you ready to take this young lady home now?" McNamara asks us.

I look at Christian and he shrugs at me.

"Are we allowed to?" I ask her.

"Of Course." McNamara laughs at us. "She's yours now. You can do whatever you want."

 _She's ours. She's mine. Wow._

I kneel down near Harper.

"Hi, pretty girl. You wanna come home with us?" I ask and hold my arms out.

Harper leans into me so I pull her up.

"Hon?" I turn to Christian. "Hand me her coat please?"

Christian hands me her smaller coat. I start to put it on Harper, but I feel like I'm going to pull to hard and hurt her.I try to reason with myself that she is sturdier than I would guess, but it doesn't help much. I finally manage to get her in, then Christian hands me a hat that I didn't know we had bought. Christian must have grabbed the matching hat when he picked the coat out.

I stand up while keeping a hold on Harper.

"Any thing we should know before we go?" I ask, silently scolding myself for rhyming.

"Harper just got up from a nap, she has been going down for the night at about 8. She should get hungry at about 5. Anything we have of hers is packed in her diaper bag that we gave your security." Mary informs us.

"Thank you both so much." I address both ladies.

"Yes, your help has been much appreciated." Christian adds in.

I walk out with Harper in my arms. I feel incredibly weird, almost like I'm doing something wrong. I guess I have to adjust to the idea of a child, but without the 9 months most women tells us to take Harper's coat off before buckling her in, so as to keep her the safest. Thankfully he thought ahead and had the SUV very warm for her. Both Christian and I watch very closely as Taylor secures her in.

"That's it? She's safe?" Christian asks.

"Yes. She's in there good." Taylor tells us then climbs into the driver's seat.

I'm sitting on the right side of the vehicle with the baby to my left. I peer in and see Harper looking around confused, and maybe a bit upset.

"Hi, honey." she looks at me when she hears my voice. "It's okay. We are going to your new home. Look what I have," I reach down to the bag at my feet and give her a stuffed bunny.

Harper touches it lightly, then grabs it and starts to stick its ear in her mouth. I don't want her to do that, so I look in her diaper bag and find the binky that Mary told us was in there. With the binky in her mouth she looks at and moves her new friend all around.

With the baby calm I look at Christian.

"She looked cute in that jacket and hat." I tell him.

"Yeah. She did." he agrees with a small smile.

"See? You already have good baby instincts."

"You're very 'glass half full' today, Mrs Grey." Christian says.

"Babe, I'm delirious: I haven't slept since before I met with Mr Jones. At least not much. Pretty soon I'm going to be laughing for no reason." I joke.

"So essentially you are drunk without drinking?"

"Yup. Still get the hangover, though."

* * *

Arriving at Escala I am surprised by how much Christian got accomplished before we got home.

I see the new high chair sitting at the end of the breakfast bar. I move to the living room and take Harpers outer layers off, then my own. I see Harper looking at her new surroundings, and unsure of everything she moves closer to me. I pick her up just as Christian enters with the bags.

"She okay?" he asks me.

"Yeah. Just overwhelmed I think." he nods.

I follow Christian to Harper's new room. Inside already is her crib and Rocking Chair.

"Taylor mentioned that the changing table and dresser are being put together now." Christian tells me.

"Oh. Maybe I should change her." I realize.

I kneel on the floor and pull the diaper bag over to me. I see Christian watching us so I gesture for him to sit next to me.

"Please tell me you are gonna throw me in the deep end here." Christian says sounding scared.

"Just hand me stuff, please. Can you get me a light blanket to put under her?" I ask. He quickly complies. "Now we need the wipes, a diaper, and cream in case we need it."

With everything lined up I go about the business of changing her.

"Why does this one have a green line instead of a yellow one?" Christian asks.

"The yellow line turns green when she pees. That helps to tell you if she is wet or not,"

"That's ingenious." he says and I chuckle lightly.

I get Harper dressed again, but leave her on the floor and stand to go throw the diaper out and wash my hands.

"Where are you going?" Christian says sounding panicked.

I tell him, but it doesn't help his fear.

"But what about the baby?"

"Just watch her, she will probably roll over and crawl. I'll be right back. You will be fine." I tell him.

I pause when I come back to the room.

"Ana better come back in a second." I hear him say to Harper. I see he is leaning over her and talking. My guess is he is trying to entertain her so she doesn't make any sudden movements. "I'm sorry I'm not as fun as her, or smell as good."

"Now don't cut yourself short, you smell delicious." I tell him as I enter the room.

Christian straightens up, like he was caught doing something wrong. Maybe I embarrassed him.

"Speaking of delicious, I think dinner is ready. Can you bring her with you?" I ask as I quickly leave the room.

I know that Christian is uncomfortable, but I think it is better to have him bond with her sooner rather than later.

"What? Ana?" I hear his voice get loud, and then hear Harper start to whine. "Oh, no. I didn't mean to scare you. It's okay, shhhh."

 _Pick her up. Pick her up._

"Okay. How do I do this?" I assume he figures out how to lift her. "You're fine. Are you hungry? Do you want to eat?"

I escape down the hall, not wanting him to know I was eavesdropping. I go to put away the coats that are in the living room, and I find Harper's binky. I bring the binky into the kitchen area.

"Hi, Gail." I say.

"Hello, Mrs Grey. Congratulations."

"Thank you."

I hear Harper's crying coming nearer. It's not as loud anymore, just a little whimpering.

 _Good job, Grey._

I turn to see him holding her with her back to him. He has one hand under her bottom, and the other around her middle. I realize he did this so she can't accidentally touch him. I know he will be fine, because he is so cautious with her. He wants her safe.

"I don't appreciate that stunt, Ana." he tells me, but uses a light tone so as not to upset the baby.

"Hi, sweetie. You want this?" I show Harper her binky, then put it up to her lips and she takes it in immediately. Her whimpering ceases, so I look at Christian. "You needed to face your fear. You hadn't touched her at all, and now you have. We can't do this without you and I both getting over our nerves. You are not alone there, we just have different areas where we are nervous." I explain.

"Give me some sort of warning before you pull something like that again." Christian grumbles.

"Okay. Can you put her in the high chair?" I ask him. He doesn't verbally respond, he just walks to the chair, placing her in it.

 _They are so cute._


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Hi everybody! I know that I suck and haven't updated a bit. I have started to go back to school online, so I have been super busy. On the upside, this chapter is over 2,000 words long. I hope you like this chapter, and I hope to have some new stuff up soon. Let me know what you think.  
**

* * *

Ch 12

 _Phew! I am tired._

It is after midnight, and I just got Harper to sleep on her first night with us. Harper was doing so well until it reached 8 o'clock. At that point she started acting like she was being possessed or something. My guess was that she was overtired, but didn't feel comfortable enough to fall asleep.

After dinner, Christian went to his study and left me with the baby. I didn't want to give her a bath in case she got cold, so I wanted to wait until morning. I used some baby wipes to make sure she didn't have any food on her.

At that point I had to figure out how to brush her teeth. Harper doesn't have too many teeth, but I saw a toothbrush in her diaper bag and I figured I would try it. Little did I know that she would think I was trying to murder her with the tool. She screamed and fussed, and broke my heart. I didn't want to traumatize her, but if she learns that crying works to get out of things then I'll be in bigger trouble.

Once she was brushed and changed into pajamas I tried to read her a bedtime story. Any time I tried to settle her in the rocking chair with me she would squirm and cry. I thought I should try just to put her in her crib, but that was a no go. She got herself so worked up that she couldn't stop herself. I tried to walk the apartment while holding her because she only whimpered while I did that.

Each time I passed by Christian's study I got madder and madder. He had to hear her crying, but why isn't he checking on us. For all he knows I could be dead and she could be hurt. I knew I was being overdramatic, but I was reaching my wits end. The crying was making me crazy and I was completely out of my element.

She is finally asleep now, and I'm sitting in the rocking chair while glancing at her sleeping form in the crib. I'm glad we ordered a plush rocking chair that reclines, because I think I'm going to stay here tonight. I feel overcome by my feelings for this little girl. I feel love, and awe for her. I also am feeling scared at how much she depends on me. I can't even say that she depends on Christian, because he has been MIA all night.

I grab the blanket on the back of the chair, and drape it over myself. I close my eyes and drift off to the sound of Harper's breathing.

* * *

I come out of my sleep to the sound of a baby babbling: my baby to be specific. I smile as I look at Harper. She is in her crib, her feet straight above her,and she's trying to take her socks off. I make my way over to her.

"Good Morning pretty girl. How are you today?" I ask her.

Harper turns to me and smiles, then keeps on babbling.

"Are you hungry? Do you want your bottle?" I say.

"Baba Baba." Harper hears and repeats.

 _I guess she knows that word._

I reach into the crib and lift Harper into my arms.

"Let's go get you some baba." I tell her as we walk to the kitchen.

I put Harper in her high chair and turn the bottle warmer on. While that is heating I cut her up some banana and give it to her on her tray. I only give her a few pieces because I want her to eat her oatmeal too. I start the oatmeal as well, just the instant kind.

Harper eats most of her oatmeal, banana, and drinks all of her milk. I decide she needs a bath but I go to look for Christian first.

I find Christian in his study, putting papers in his attache case.

"Hey." I say.

"Hey."

"Are you going to work?" I ask him as he's all dressed.

"Yeah, I have a few things I need to do so I can be available for court tomorrow. I should be home by early afternoon."

"Oh. That makes sense." I didn't know what else to say. "Did you happen to tell your mom about Harper?"

"Not yet." he tells me. "I planned on calling both my parents today."

"Yeah. I too have to call my parents. Would it be okay with you if I invite Grace over while you are at work. I could use any baby insight I can get."

"That's fine with me, but can you make sure they know I was going to call them."

"Of course." I tell him. I kiss him goodbye, then grab my cell phone and head to Harper's room.

"Grey residence." I hear Gretchen, the maid, answer the phone.

"Hi, this is Ana Grey. Is Grace around?"

"One moment." I hear silence for a moment before Grace picks up.

"Hi, Ana. How are you darling?"

"I'm fine. I have some news to share with you. It would appear that a recently deceased relative of mine left me her daughter." I say.

"Her daughter? Are you serious?"

"Yes. Her name is Harper. I was contacted about two days ago and I picked her up last night."

"Wow. What does Christian say about this?" Grace asks.

"Christian and I are going to have temporary custody for now. He wanted me to tell you that he was going to call you today. He had to run into the office so he can come to court with me tomorrow."

"This is a shock. How old is she?"

"Harper is ten months old." I say as I watch the little girl roll around on her play mat.

"A baby!" Grace gasps and I can picture her placing her hand on her heart.

"Yes. Would you like to come over and meet her? I'm kind of a beginner on the whole baby thing, so I welcome any advice you can give me."

"Of course I'm coming over. I'll leave right away. You don't have plans right now do you?"

"I have to give her a bath, but that is it."

"Please wait for me. I would love to help give her a bath. It has been such a long time since we have had a baby in the family." Grace enthuses.

"Then I will definitely wait for you."

* * *

 _Ding_

I hear the elevator reach our floor. I pick up Harper and take her to meet Grace. The second Grace comes into my view her eyes lock on the baby in my arms. I see her tear up.

"Harper this is Grace, Grace meet Harper." I introduce them.

"Hi darling girl." Grace whispers.

Harper burrows into my neck from shyness, but she keeps her face towards Grace.

"Grace came to help give you a bath." I tell her.

I lead the way to Harper's room, and into her bathroom.

"How do I do this?" I ask Grace.

"Does she sit up on her own well?"

"Yes, she can."

"I figured as much." Grace says. "I'll run the bath, and you watch."

Grace starts to fill the tub, and asks me to bring in Harper's shampoo and soap. When I come back I see Grace putting her elbow into the water.

"If the water seems okay to your elbow, then it is good for her." Grace tells me.

Grace walks me through the whole bath process. Luckily Harper loves the rubber duckies that I got her, so she played the whole time. Right after I took Harper from the tub, Grace's phone went off so she left me alone to dress the baby.

I diaper and dress Harper, and then sit in the rocking chair with her. I cuddle with her, and just inhale that 'baby smell'. I feel myself getting more attached to her by the second. I also find myself feeling exhausted. This little girl is work, and I'm glad Grace has come to help out.

"Ana?" Grace calls as she walks back down the hallway.

"Everything okay?"

"Yes, but I have to leave. That was the hospital, and they need me. You must come by the house soon with this little munchkin." Grace says as she strokes Harper's cheek.

"Of course we will come visit. But before I forget, could you recommend a pediatrician you trust?"

"I'll come up with a list. I'm sure you would like options. Call me tomorrow to tell me how court went?"

"Sure. I'll call you tomorrow. Thank you for all of your help."

Grace leaves, and once again it is just me and Harper.

* * *

I can't remember ever being this tired before.

I think you need to be as young as a baby to keep up with them. Harper has been great, but she is very active and demands a lot of attention. I should have tried to nap during her nap, but I needed to clean up all of her toys.

Christian came home from the office a few hours ago, but I haven't seen hide nor hair of him. I know that he is a busy man, and I know that I am the one who pushed for taking Harper home, but I wish he could help a little.

I mean is it too much to ask for him to ask if we need anything?

I'm so hungry, but I can't be bothered to cook, and Gail isn't home from her sister's house yet. I decide that tonight is pizza night. I know Christian hates the idea of eating something so unhealthy, but I don't see him making dinner. I order from my favorite restaurant, and then notify Sawyer that a delivery guy is coming.

I set up the table for Christian, Harper and myself. Well technically I set it for the grownups since I am going to feed Harper before the pizza gets here. Harper enjoys her little baby meal, and then I give her some puffs to keep her attention for when I eat.

Sawyer brings my pizza in, and I ask him to tell Christian to come eat. Sawyer gives me a weird look, but complies. Sawyer knows that I'm uncomfortable letting the staff do things for me that I could easily do for myself, so he must realize I'm a little irked at my husband.

"Pizza?" I hear Christian ask.

"I'm too tired to do anything else."

"Oh."

We eat in complete silence, only hearing Harper coo to herself. As I finish I tell Christian that I'm going to put the baby to bed and go lay down.

"We will leave at 8:30 tomorrow." Christian tells me.

 _That's it? That's all he has to say? Couldn't he even ask me how my day was? I know Christian is uncomfortable with the idea of parenting, but I figured he was going to make an effort after he held her._

I'm thankful that Harper falls asleep almost right away. I take a quick shower, set my alarm, check the baby monitor, and climb in bed. I feel relief in my whole body as I settle in for the night. Usually I wait for my husband to come tire me out and cuddle me close, but that's not happening tonight. It occurs to me that this is the longest we have gone without sex since we started having it, and I realize that Christian has distanced himself from me in more ways than one. It would appear that not only do I have to raise Harper by myself, but my husband has taken a leave of absence.

I wonder how long I can manage everything on my own. I wonder if Christian realizes the space between us. I feel more tired just thinking those things. I lay my head down on my pillow after turning off my bedside light. I think I may fall asleep before my eyes even get a chance to close.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I apologize for the big gap between chapters. I'm not abandoning this, it has just been taking me longer than expected. The next chapter is already written, just not edited. I hope you guys are still with me. Enjoy :)  
**

* * *

CH. 13

Christian, Harper and I are sitting on the benches in the family court room. I am so nervous. Mr Jones said this is more of a formality than anything, but this is the first time I have had to come to a court, so I think I have a right to feel the way I do. I'm thankful that Harper doesn't seem to be feeding off my nervous energy. I gave her a stuffed toy and a teething ring, and she has been good as gold.

"All of those involving Harper Daniels' case, please come forward." I hear the Bailiff say.

My group, along with Mr Jones make our way over to the front of the room.

"I see here that we are solidifying the custody order of an orphaned child." the judge speaks as he glances through our case file.

"Yes, your honor." Mr Jones answers.

"Mrs Anastasia Grey is the person named in the mother's will to take care of the child?" the judge makes eye contact with Mr Jones.

"Yes, sir. We have included the proper paper trail of finding Mrs Grey, and how we confirmed who she is."

"I also see a request for a custody amendment?"

"We are requesting that Mrs Grey's husband be listed on the custody." Mr Jones says.

The judge looks away from the papers in front of him and sets his gaze upon me. I once again get that feeling of being called into the Principal's office.

"Mrs Grey, you are sure about accepting custody?"

"Yes, I am." I say.

"Well, then I see no reason to not grant the custody. I'm sure your social worker will answer any questions you may have. Have a nice day."

 _That's it? Not that I'm complaining._

Mr Jones received the signed papers from the judge and we filed out of the courtroom.

"I have a copy of the custody papers for you two. Your social worker will contact you some time this week to see how you all are settling in. Unfortunately, this is where I leave you. I wish you three good luck and happiness." Jones tells us.

Christian and I shake Jones' hands and watch him leave.

Mrs McNamara makes her way over to us and escorts us into a meeting room. I guess that our social worker decided to contact us sooner than the judge thought.

"Okay, you three." she smiles at us. "I will be available to you if you need me. However, after this meeting we probably won't need to see each other. That is of course unless you two decide to adopt Harper."

I look over at Christian and his face seems blank. He agreed to take custody of Harper, but ever since then he has been like a robot. I see him around but he makes minimal conversation, and then scurries away. I feel like he will never want to adopt her, and that makes me sad. I still have custody of Harper, but it hurts that my husband isn't accepting our situation.

I've fallen in love with the little girl in my arms, and I don't know how to mesh my two worlds together. How do I make Christian love her like I do? How do continue to grow into a parent while my partner stays in the exact same spot?

I feel like Harper and I are on a train and we are starting to leave the station. I can see Christian standing on the platform, looking at us but not trying to join us. We have a small window before Christian could jump on the train, but he has to try. If he doesn't jump soon, we will be too far gone.

"I think we are just looking forward to getting settled right now." I tell her, trying to move this meeting along.

"I'm sure you are, you have my contact information should you need it. Your official decree of guardianship will come in the mail in a few weeks. That just says that the papers that you already have are already filed and legal."

"Thank you Mrs McNamara." Christian says as he stands to shake her hand.

I rise as well. _I guess this meeting is over._

Our group goes into our SUV and I soon realize that we are on our way to GEH instead of Escala. It would seem that becoming the guardian of a baby only excuses you from a morning of work if you are Christian Grey. I can't believe he didn't even see if I needed him or anything. I start to get mad at him, but I'm too tired. I'm a mom now, and I need to save my energy for that, for Harper.

We pull up at GEH and then Christian gets out, he turns back to us.

"I'll be home by four today." I nod at him and he leaves.

I look at my baby girl sitting next to me in her carseat. I brush her hair away from her face and she looks up at me.

"I love you, little girl." I tell her and feel myself tear up. She coos at me and puts her stuffed bunny in her mouth.

I love her so much already. She is this innocent little being that is entirely dependent on me. In some strange way my blood runs in her blood, and we are meant for each other. I don't know how it feels to be pregnant and give birth, but I can't imaging having a stronger love for that child than this one. I start to cry as I realize that I may be the only person out there who loves this baby.

I feel for the cousin I never met. I know that she was completely alone with Harper. She had to be scared about that all of the time, and infinitely more scared when she got stuck by that vehicle the night she died. She must have been scared that there would be no one left to love her little girl. I'm glad that I have the opportunity to be Harper's new mom. I'll always let her know that she had an amazing mom who loved her, but that I love her just as much.

I decide to call Rachel to check in as I'm sure she is worried about me.

"Rachel Monroe, how can I help you?" I hear my friend's voice.

"Hey, Rach. It's me."

"Ana! Are you okay? What's going on?"

"I'm fine. I just have a lot of personal issues going on. I will be into the office tomorrow, but not to work." I tell her.

"Not to work? Are you sure you are okay? You're not quitting are you?" She worries.

"No, I'm not quitting. I am going to need a little time off though. I know you'll understand when I see you tomorrow. I promise I'm okay, it's just easier to talk about in person." I'm sure the visual of Harper will be enough to make Rachel see why I need maternity leave even though I was never pregnant.

"If you are sure you are okay, then I will see you tomorrow."

I disconnect from Rachel and look at Harper again.

"It's you and me today, kid. What shall we do?" Harper smiles around the bunny ear she is sucking on. "How about we just play. Two girls and some Elmo toys." Harper looks up at me questioningly when I say Elmo. "I guess you like that idea."

 _I can do this. I'm just a mom staying home with her little girl. I don't need to worry about Christian, I just need to focus on my daughter._


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note: Hey, I'm back! Check my note at the end for some story insight. Thanks for reading and reviewing. See you soon**

* * *

Ch. 14

I just finished making dinner. Well, actually I finished putting it in the crockpot. I did some research on what ten month olds can eat, so I decided to make crockpot macaroni and cheese and baked chicken breasts. I set the crockpot, and will put the chicken in closer to dinner. I hope Harper will like it.

Speaking of Harper. she should be waking up from her nap soon. I bought some play dough to try with her. I know she can't really do anything with it, but I can't wait to see her reaction to how squishy it is. I plan to take some photos of that.

I've been thinking about how life is going to have to change. I know I will have to go into GP tomorrow and discuss taking a little time off of work to help get Harper adjusted. After that, I'm not sure what to do. Technically, I never have to work since Christian could support us multiple times over. I can't imagine leaving work forever. I love being an editor and that has been my dream for so long. There is a part of me that wants to keep working, but there is another part of me that wants to be here for everything Harper needs. I guess I will have to talk to Rachel and figure out what is best for me.

I hear a noise in the kitchen, so I turn to see Gail in there.

"Hi Gail."

"Hello, Ana. You didn't have to make dinner. I would have made anything you wanted." She tells me.

"That's okay. I did research on what to feed babies, so I threw something together. I do like cooking." I tell her.

"Just let me know when you do want me to cook." she offers kindly. "I'm sure that running after that angel will tire you out, so I'm here for whatever you need."

"Thank you. Truth be told, I don't know what I'm going to do about work and Harper. I have to go into my job to explain my situation and tell them that I need some time off. After that time is up, I don't know what to do." I confess.

"Ana, I hope this isn't too forward of me, but if you need someone to watch Harper, I can help. I'm sure that Mr Grey wouldn't mind adding watching her to my list of duties. I, for one, would love to have my hands on that little one."

I wrap my hands around Gail, and give her a firm hug. It feels so good that someone is offering to help me.

"Thank you. I don't know what I plan to do, but thank you. You have no idea what your offer means to me."

We are interrupted by the sounds of little miss waking up. I wipe my tears and walk to Harper's room.

"Hey, big girl. I have a special treat set up for you."

I change her diaper, and then bring her to her high chair. I see that Gail is still in the kitchen, so I ask her to take some photos with my phone. I open up the tub of play dough.

"Here, Harper. I got you a new toy. It's called play dough." I say as I offer it to her.

Harper touches the dough, but quickly pulls away.

"It's okay. It's supposed to be squishy. Here look."

I show Harper how I squeeze the dough. I then open my palm to show her the material once again. She still seems hesitant, so I grab her tiny hand in my own. I kiss her little palm and then bring her hand to the play dough in my other hand. I kiss her hand again as it touches the new substance, then I smile at her.

Harper starts to smile at me, and I see her look questioningly at the dough. I put it in front of her, and then press my fingers into it so she can see how it moves.

"Do you want to try?"

After a few moments I see Harper touch her finger to the dough. She snatches her hand back and looks at me like she is unsure. I smile at her to reassure her. She touches it again, and starts to explore this new substance. I see Harper get more comfortable with the dough and I can tell that she likes the feeling in her hands as she maneuvers it. I see her try to bring it to her mouth.

"Ah-ah, no mouth." I say quietly but firmly.

I see her look unsure but move it down from her mouth. She continues to play, and I show her all different ways to move the dough around.

I feel so happy as I play with her. I can't believe that just a week ago I didn't know about her, yet I love her so much. I haven't had Harper for very long, but I guess that this is what it feels like to be a mom. I know that she depends on me for everything, and that is so amazing, but it is also terrifying. I don't know what I am going to do with her. Grace is going to set up a pediatrician for me, and I have been googling everything that I can think of about babies. I just wish one of the people willing to help would be my husband.

After Harper gets fussy of sitting with the play dough I place her in the play pen I set up in the living room, but near the kitchen. I set the table for dinner while I can still keep my eye on the baby. I place settings for Christian and myself on a corner of the table, and I place Harper's high chair in between us. I grab some flowers, and a candle. I think the table looks romantic, and soothing.

I hope that dinner as a family will help Christian and I reconnect. I have not slept with my husband since I got the call from Mr Jones, and I mean _sleep._ We haven't had sex either, but I miss sleeping in my husband's arms more than anything. I've spent my whole life being single, but I have come to love having a partner. My favorite thing about Christian is how we curl up together to go to sleep: me on him, but I wake up with him on me. Christian grabs onto me like a vine while we sleep, and it makes me feel whole. I haven't woken up that way in days, but it feels like longer. I miss how I catch him looking at me, how he texts me nonstop, how he brushes my hair behind my ear as he kisses me. I feel my stomach clench as I think about how long it has been since I felt all of that.

I shake my head to snap me out of my thoughts. I open a bottle of Christian's favorite wine so it can breathe. I check dinner, and it is minutes away from being ready. I expect Christian home at any minute, so I'm excited to have everything ready for him.

 _Ding_

I hear the elevator, and turn the corner to see Christian make his way towards me.

"Hey baby." he kisses my forehead. "I have a conference call with Tokyo." he starts to walk past me. "Tell Gail to put my plate in the oven to warm later."

"But I made us-" I start to say, but am cut off by the slamming of Christian's office door.

I turn to Harper, and she is looking at me curiously from the sound of the door. I try not to let myself tear up. I know that there isn't really a reason for me to cry, but I still feel rejected.

"It's just you and me for dinner tonight, baby." I tell her.

I try to focus on feeding Harper, and ignore my husband in the other room.

 _Just take care of the baby, Christian will come around._

I just wish that I could believe myself.

* * *

 **A/N: Hi all. I just wanted to do a quick check in about our not so favorite guy right now. Because I am writing in Ana's POV right now, I wanted to let you know what I believe to be going through Christian's head. We all know that he never thought he could love, or be a father. I think that not only is it a choice for him to start to change, but that he has no clue that he has to make that choice. Christian is selfish in many ways, and by that I mean that thinking outside of his routine has never happened before Ana. I believe that he allowed himself to make room for her in his life, but it doesn't occur to him how closed off he still is. Christian has a long journey to go on in this story, but first he needs to realize the journey exists. I hope you all can give him a few more chapters to make you see who he really is. Also I hope you take into consideration that he is mercurial, so there will be some quick changes with his mindsets. I hope you enjoyed this update :)**


	15. Chapter 15

Ch. 15

I know that I am overreacting, but everyone is watching me as I walk through GP. I'm carrying Harper on my hip, and Sawyer is following me with the diaper bag. I take a big breath outside of Rachel's office, and then knock.

"Come in." I hear, and then peak my head in the door. "Ana! I'm so glad you are here. What's going…on?" she stumbles as she spots Harper.

I make my way to a chair, seating Harper on my lap. I look at Rachel, and she looks thoroughly confused.

"Do you recall my deceased cousin?" I ask. Rachel nods slowly. "Well,she seems to have left me all she had. That includes Harper." I gesture to the baby.

"Harper?" Rachel questions. Harper turns to look at her, hearing her name.

"Yes. So I need to discuss getting some time off." I try to sound confident.

"Uh, of course." Rachel glances at her computer screen, and then shakes her head and laughs. "Can we skip the formalities now?"

I laugh with her, thankful for the break in tension.

"Oh, Rach. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm overwhelmed, and Christian is just… not there."

"How would you _not_ be overwhelmed?I mean sh… shoot." she stumbles over her words, looking at the baby. "What can I do to help?"

I take a shaky breath, feeling a little relief from stress.

"I think I need some time at home to help Harper adjust. I've read some articles about fostering and adoption, and I think we need some time to develop a bond. I want her to feel loved and safe, so I think work would be too much right now. I have some time accrued, but I would need your approval to take it."

"Sweetie," she gets up, crosses around her desk and sits next to me. "Under these circumstances, I can put in for family leave, even maternity leave for you. Now what can _I_ do, not your boss but your friend."

"Got any parenting tips?" I joke. Starting to tear up from emotion overload.

"Don't let her walk out into traffic." she jests.

We laugh for a moment, and then turn our gazes to Harper. She is chewing on her teething ring, and seeing me looking at her, offers it to me to chew. I laugh again.

"Thank you, but _you_ keep it." I punctuate that by giving her a little tickle on her tummy.

"So how much time do you think you will need?" Rachel draws my attention back to her.

"I'm not sure." I answer. "I feel like I may need a week or two, and then maybe try to do some work from home. If it is possible I would like to ease into things. Gail, our housekeeper has offered to watch Harper, but I don't want to just leave her to it. You know?"

"I do know." Rachel glances at Harper, then back to me. "Welcome to being a mom… managing responsibilities, and coping with the guilt of not giving your kid all of your time and attention."

"I don't feel like a mom." I confess.

"Of course you don't, sweetie." Rachel caresses my arm. "You were thrown into the deep end. Most women have 9 months to get ready."

"I guess. I'm scared."

"How is Christian doing with this?"

"I don't know." at this she gives me a confused look. "I haven't seen much of him. He didn't seem like he wanted to take her, but then we agreed to take her. He seemed involved and everything. But then," I pause, trying to find the words for Christian's behavior.

"Did he flake?"

"Yeah. It is like neither Harper nor I exist." I start to cry again just saying the words aloud.

"Oh, honey." Rachel grabs me in a hug. "It will be okay. He needs to adjust just like you do."

I nod, not able to speak anymore.

"So, Harper, seen any good Mickey episodes lately?" I hear Rachel say. I'm so glad I have her around.

* * *

It is 6:00, and I just finished feeding Harper her dinner. I'm glad that, so far, she is a good eater. I'm skipping giving her a bath tonight. Since I don't have work for a while I can adjust her schedule to my benefit, and will just bathe her in the morning.

I'm laying with Harper on the living room rug, just watching her crawl around and chew on toys. This I can do: I can watch her play. The rest of my life right now, I'm not too sure about. I have had no contact with Christian all day, which is starting to become the norm. Half of the time I feel numb to his ambivalence, and the other half of the time I feel gutted.

I think that if Christian was acting like _my_ Christian, I wouldn't feel so exhausted and sad. When Christian and I are in sync I feel invincible, and now I feel useless. I don't even think that I would need Christian to be Mr Mom, but I just need him to acknowledge me.

I see Harper start to rub her eyes, and I glance at the clock. It's a little early for her to sleep, but we had a long day. I take her to her bedroom, put her Pjs on, and sit in the rocking chair with her. This is my favorite part of the day so far. I feel her warm weight pressed up against my body as she gets comfortable. She grasps onto my necklace, and lets out a big breath. After a few minutes her eyelashes start fluttering as she passes into the land of nod. I remain sitting with her for a bit, enjoying the peace of both Harper and this moment. Finally I place her in her crib, and head back to the living room to clean up from our earlier playtime.

I start a fire in the living room fireplace, and pour myself a large glass of wine. Listening to the crackle of the fireplace as I clean helps put me at ease. When I'm done with my task, I curl up on the couch and close my eyes. It's too early for me to go to sleep, but maybe I can just relax for a minute.

 _Ding_

I hear the elevator. _There goes the idea of relaxing._

"Hey, Baby." comes from the entrance of this room.

"Hey." I say as I sit up, making room for him.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"Just tired."

Christian leans in and gives me a quick peck on the lips before reaching for my wine glass, and taking a sip.

"How was your day?" he asks me.

"Fine. I went in to work to talk with Rachel about taking some time off."

He looks at me confusedly.

"Why are you taking time off?"

 _Really?!_

"I need to get Harper adjusted." I explain incredulously, "Gale agreed to help out, but I think it is best to stay home so she can get used to me. In a couple of weeks I will start doing back little by little. I don't want Harper to have any more abrupt changes. Plus I will need to get her to a pediatrician and get more things set up for her."

"Oh. That makes sense." he replies. "I'm glad that Gale offered to help. I'll make sure she receives appropriate accommodations for her new responsibilities."

"Thank you. I was thinking of that myself."

"I hadn't even considered Gale watching Harper, but it makes a good fit." he tells me.

"Who did you think would watch her?" I wonder aloud.

"I hadn't really thought about it." he says as he walks to the kitchen.

"You hadn't?" I squeak out, amazed at how far apart our priorities are right now.

I wait for a few minutes, and Christian doesn't return, so I walk to him.

"Did you eat?" Christian asks me.

"Yeah. I left you a plate."

For some reason I feel awkward. I am standing in my home, with my husband, watching him put his dinner in the microwave, yet I feel like I could puke. I don't know what to say to him. I can't say that I'm mad at him, but I'm not happy either.

"I'm gonna go eat in my office while finishing up some research on the new deal I'm working on."

"Okay." I whisper. watching him go.

I go to my room, trying to sort out all of my thoughts. Things _cannot_ stay the way they are, but I'm not sure what I need and how to get it. I take a deep breath, and try to shake all of my worries away, focusing only on one: tomorrow I have to call Ray and tell him he's a papa.


	16. Chapter 16

Ch. 16

I wake up at 7, hoping for a little while without Harper so I can call Ray. I dial his number and bite my nails while I wait for him to pickup the phone. He doesn't make me wait long.

"Annie? How are you honey?" Ray's voice makes me feel like a little kid again.

"Hi daddy. I am okay. How are you?"

"Can't complain. To what do I owe your early call?"

"Well I have had a pretty crazy week, and I want to update you on everything.

" I was contacted by a lawyer the other day. He informed me of the passing of a cousin of mine, through Frank Lambert." I begin my story.

"Okay. Did this cause you any trouble?" He worries.

"Yes and no. It turns out that she had no family left, but she knew she had a cousin. She asked for her cousin to take responsibility for her daughter, Harper."

"And did you?...take responsibility?" He seems baffled.

"I did. Harper is an adorable little girl. She is ten months old, and she is mine."

"Wow. This is big Annie. Are you sure about this? What did Christian say about this?"

"I'm sure. We're sure. One look at her and we both knew she was coming home with us." At least that is partially true. I just don't know how sure Christian is now.

"If you're sure, tell me about her."

I spend the next 10 minutes talking to my dad about my daughter. So weird. We finally have to hang up when I hear Harper wake up. I promise to send Ray pics, and Ray promises to come visit soon.

"Good morning Harper." I greet her as I lift her from her crib. I get a bright smile in return.

I go about our new morning routine. I feed Harper, then I get her in the bath. I snap some photos of her splashing with her duckies. I send them to Ray and Grace. Grace calls me immediately.

"Hi grandma." I greet her

"Oh, Ana. Isn't she just precious? I told Carrick all about her and he can't wait to meet her. How about you three come over for dinner tonight? I can call Elliot and Mia too. Everyone can meet Harper."

I immediately feel guilty: I haven't told my best friend about my baby.

"Let me check with Christian first. Also would you mind if I call Kate before you contact Elliot? I haven't had a moment to tell her anything about Harper."

"Of course. Text me if everything is a go and I will take care of all of the planning. I hope to see you sweet girls later."

I say goodbye to Grace, then take Harper out of the tub. I dress her and then bring her to the great room to play. As I set her down, I ready to make my next call.

"Shall we call Auntie Kate?" I ask Harper even though she has no idea what I am talking about.

I catch Kate on her way to work, and she is floored. She, like everyone else, can't believe this. After we talk it all over I can tell that she isn't mad that it took me so long to tell her. I honestly didn't mean to, life just got in the way. I tell Kate about dinner at Grey Manor tonight and she says she is in. I convince her that Grace should break the news to Elliot. I am hoping that if it comes from Grace maybe it won't hurt so much that it didn't come from Christian.

I text Christian that we are having dinner with his family at Grace's request. I don't ask him because I want to share Harper with his family, and if he can't make it then I will go with just Harper.

One last text to Grace, giving her the OK for dinner, and I put my phone on the table, far away, and lay on the floor with my girl. Trying to make her laugh over and over again.

* * *

I am waiting with Harper for Christian to arrive. We need to head to Bellevue soon for dinner. The only response I got from Christian concerning dinner was 'k'. I hate getting that one letter back to an in depth message. Christian is working all of the hot buttons I have, and I truly believe I am going to burst soon.

Sawyer comes out of the security office and tells me that Taylor and Christian are sitting outside waiting for us. That's a new one: Christian never used to waste an opportunity to escort me out to the car.

We travel down in the elevator, and then I climb in the Audi, securing Harper in her car seat before fastening my own belt. Christian and I greet one another but other than that he is consumed by his blackberry.

Getting out at Bellevue, Grace swoops in to give Harper some grandma cuddles. She brings Harper over to Carrick, introducing the two. Christian places his hand on my lower back and escorts me into the home.

I'm grateful that Grace has taken on the role of getting everyone familiar with Harper and the story of how she came to be with us. If I had to tell the story again I might pass out from sheer exhaustion. I take a seat on the sofa, and am surprised when Christian brings me a glass of wine. I find it sad that this is the most attention Christian has paid me all week.

When we all walk to the dining room for dinner I can't help but notice that Christian is perfectly at ease: and its pissing me off. My husband sure as shit isn't normally this calm without sex in a week. I don't question his faithfulness, but I do question how often he has had time to relax and get himself off in the last week while I've been ignored. He seems so fucking relaxed!

I sit Harper on my lap at the table. A plate is put in front of me by Gretchen, and I focus on giving Harper as much of my food as is appropriate. I give her little bits of mashed potatoes and steamed carrots, only taking little bites for myself. Her little hands keep grasping onto my plate, trying to get more. I look over at Christian, seeing him slowly cutting his meat and taking long luxurious breaks between mouthfuls. I know I'm being ridiculous, but this is pissing me off too.

I can't believe how alone I am in my newfound motherhood. I know that Harper was left to me, but it's quite shocking how much Christian can ignore her existence. In the past, Christian would have been so concerned about me finishing my dinner, and now he hasn't even glanced at me. I can feel my anger rising up, but I tamp it down for now. I see Kate looking at me questioningly: at least someone notices I'm getting upset.

"Steele, I'm done eating. Why don't I hold the little angel so you can finish eating?" She offers.

"Thank you, Kate." I say, passing the baby over.

"Why didn't you say anything, baby?" I hear coming from the biggest dumbass in my life.

I just look at him, and then back down to my plate.

Just get through dinner.

I repeat that to myself over and over again for the next hour.

* * *

I kiss Harper on her head as I lay her in her crib. I take a big sniff of her baby smell and steel myself for the fight I am about to start. I walk into Christian's office, not knocking, and stand in front of his desk, eyeing him. He opens his mouth to talk but I cut him off.

"Follow me." I turn around, not checking to see if he is with me.

I walk to the playroom doors, open them, wait for Christian to file in, then close them.

"What are we doing in here, Ana?" Christian asks me.

"This room is soundproof, is it not?" I ask, my voice menacing even to my ears.

"Yeah…"

"Good. I think we need to have a little chat." I tell him as I walk over to the spanking bench and sit on it, crossing my legs. "I would like to know just where you have been this last week."

"I don't understand." Christian takes a seat on the chaise lounge across from me, where he usually takes his time gazing at me while I am strapped to the very bench I am sitting on. "I've gone to work and come home."

"No." I correct him. "Christian has done those things, but my Christian has been MIA." He goes to talk, but I place my hand up, silencing him. I stand up and step in front of him. "I know that life has thrown us a curveball this last week, but that does not excuse your behavior. You agreed that we would accept Harper into our lives, and then have done nothing but punish me since then."

"Don't be crazy. I haven't punished you."

"Oh, really." I arch my brow at him. "When was the last time we had a conversation? The last time you smiled at me?" When he has no response I continue. "The last time we held hands? Kissed? Fucked?"

He sits there without anything to say.

"Do you realize that you haven't looked at Harper since the first night we came home?" I feel my anger riling up again, and my voice gets louder. "You said we should take her home! You said I wouldn't lose you over this! But I have."

I walk around the room with my hands on my hips, trying to calm my breathing. After a few minutes of silence, I turn around to face him again.

"I can't take much more, Christian." At this his eyes flash to mine, looking scared. "I feel like I'm drowning here. I don't know what to do with a baby, but I'm learning. I'm trying. You need to get your shit together,Grey. Pay attention to the fact that you are not the only person that matters here. I matter. Harper matters. You promised me that we could handle this, but you've dropped the ball."

I look down at the floor, take a deep breath, throw the playroom door key on the chaise next to Christian, and walk out. I don't look back.

* * *

 **A/N: I'm sorry. I've become the kind of author I can't stand: big breaks between updates. I hope this chapter helps make up for it. The straw finally broke the camel's back for Ana. I hope to update on Christian soon. Thanks for reading, if any of you are still with me.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's note: Hi guys! I've got a lot of POV change, but it was the best way for me to write this. I just need to warn you. I hope you like this chapter!**

* * *

Ch 17

 **Christian's POV**

I can't believe how forceful Ana just was. Everything she said was true, but that is not how I was seeing things. I am still sitting in the playroom, surprised at how I was the one put in my place in here. Anastasia could definitely be a Domme if she wanted to.

I finally bring myself to my feet, my stiff joints telling me just how long I've been sat here going over everything my wife said to me. I soon find myself outside of Harper's room. I go inside and watch her sleep for a few moments. I don't know what to do here.

I wanted her to come home with us because I want to give her a good life. That much I know. What I don't know is how to incorporate this girl into my life. I didn't even realize that I was shutting Ana out until she confronted me. I guess that shows how far in denial I was about the situation. I can't believe the fact that I can't remember the last time that I kissed Ana, let alone be present in a moment with her. I've really fucked up.

The worst part is that I can not figure out where to go from here, and I'm scared shitless.

* * *

 **Ana's POV**

I'm playing with Harper early the following morning when my phone goes off.

"Ana Grey." I answer

"Mrs. Grey, this is Angelique Marques from the CBS affiliate here in Seattle. I'm calling in regards to your newly published author: Deanna Lowe."

"Yes, what can I help you with?" I can't imagine what this is about.

"We have an on air interview scheduled for next week, but I was wondering if it is possible to get Deanna down here today to pre tape the segment. I apologize for the last minute call, but we just found out that our interviewer's wife was scheduled for a c section next week, so he needs to be there."

"I totally understand. Let me just check a few things and get back to you. What is a good number to contact you?"

I am completely scrambling as she tells be the number. Firstly, I forgot about this interview all together. Secondly, I have no idea if my author is available today. And thirdly, I have no one to take care of Harper so I can deal with this.

I call for Gail, and mercifully she comes in and agrees to watch Harper for me. I call Deanna, and she agrees to the interview. After I schedule everything, I only have a few minutes to make myself look presentable before I need to leave. I call sawyer, so he is waiting for me. I kiss Harper and run out the door, hoping today will go smoothly.

* * *

 **Christian's POV**

"Mr. Grey, sir." Andrea interrupts my meeting with the department heads.

"Yes, Andrea?"

"I'm sorry to be a bother, but your housekeeper keeps calling. I think it's urgent."

My heart starts beating fast.

What's wrong at home?

I quickly excuse myself from the meeting, receiving a stare of disbelief from Ros.

I have my phone dialed and to my ear before my office door is even closed.

"Mr. Grey, thank God." I hear Gail answer. I also hear Harper screaming bloody murder.

"What's wrong, Gail?" I say as I can feel panic creep up my neck.

"It's Harper," my stomach drops. "Ana had to go to a last minute work event, leaving me to tend to Harper. The poor thing has been upset all day, and she has a fever. I think she needs to go to the doctor right away. I couldn't get ahold of Ana, and I don't have a car seat or any idea of where to bring her."

I can tell that Gail is close to tears, probably scared ones.

"Okay, what do I do?" I ask, not sure who I expect to have that answer.

"Do you have a car seat?" She asks me.

"Yes , I believe it is in the SUV." I pause, trying to straighten my thoughts out. "I will have Taylor bring me to you, and I will call my mother on the way." She'll know what to do.

I am so out of my depth here. See,I'm not meant to be a father.

"Mom?" I say when she finally picks up. "Harper is sick. What do I do?"

"What do you mean?"

"She has been crying and has a fever. Gail just called me to tell me. Ana had to go to work, and Gail couldn't reach her." I run my hands through my hair

"Okay. I'm still at the hospital. Bring her here, and I will have one of my colleagues ready to examine her. Make sure you get info from Gail on her actions today, her eating, and her bowel movements."

The fuck?

Why do I need to ask about her bowel movements?

"Bowel movements?"

"Yes, Christian. It is a useful diagnostic clue in babies."

I can't believe my life. One week can sure change a lot. I know I sure as fuck never needed to know about anyone's shits but my own before. While I'm pondering about everything, I realize we are at escala.

I go up the elevator, and walk into the apartment to the sounds of screaming. I see Harper holding onto gail's shoulder, screaming her head off. Tears are streaming down her face, and I know I am panicked. What do I do with her?

I tell Taylor to grab her coat and diaper bag, I ask Gail the things my mother requested, and pull my big boy pants up and reach for Harper. I hold her, her chest to my chest, hoping to minimize her ability to place her hands on my chest. I rub her back all the way down the elevator, and she quiets a little bit. Unfortunately, that is short lived as when I put her in the car seat she starts right back up.

"Drive faster, Taylor!" I bark at him.

My mom meets us at the emergency room entrance, and tries to take Harper from me, but Harper won't budge. When we get to the exam room, our Doctor is waiting for us. Perks of mom working here.

At this point it becomes necessary for Harper to let go of me. She sounds like a banshee as the doctor and nurse weigh her, take her temperature, and examine her. She keeps looking at me with sad eyes, reaching out. She must have no idea what is going on. She doesn't even know me that well, but I'm the most familiar thing to her.

"It looks as though she has an ear infection." The doctor finally concludes.

This time when Harper reaches for me I pick her up, since the exam part is over.

"That's it?" I question. "All of this over an ear infection?"

I feel Harper snuggle her head into the crook of my neck. Her crying has stopped for the moment, but I can still feel her body hiccuping sobs away.

"Yes, Mr grey. At this age, not only do babies feel miserable with an ear infection, but they don't understand what is going on, so they can be inconsolable. I'm going to give you a prescription for an antibiotic, and you can give her some Motrin. The Motrin will ease some of the pain, and may make her sleep. I will get everything set up for you, and then you can follow up with your pediatrician."

At this point my mother comes in. I'm not sure where she was before but I didn't even know she was missing. I tell her what the doctor said, and she reinforces what he said while rubbing Harper's back. The nurse comes in with a dose of Motrin for Harper and our release papers, along with a prescription. My mom says she will get the antibiotic and meet us at home, so that I can get Harper settled.

I am so relieved that Harper will be okay. Now that we know what is wrong, I can breathe.

When we have arrived, and Harper has received her medicine, I try to put her in the crib so she can sleep. I try, but every time I go to move her she cries. The cry is this pitiful little moan, and it breaks my heart. I didn't always think I had a heart, but this proves I have one. I give up and lay on the couch with her. Harper lays face down on top of me, heading to the land of nod quickly now that she is comfortable.

I'm able to breathe now that she is settled. I can't believe how this day turned out. I get how upset Ana was last night now that I've spent some time with Harper. This little girl is a big deal, and for me to let Ana handle that responsibility by herself isn't acceptable. Even still, I have no clue what to do with her. At the very least I am securing her a pediatrician tomorrow. I never want to have to rush to the emergency room again. And I am buying car seats for every goddamn car around. I can't have that shit happen again.

I look at Harper's sleeping face. I wonder how easy it was for me to allow myself to hold and cuddle her. I've been worried about not being able to handle her touch, but I guess I can deal with it because she needs me. She needed comfort today, and I made myself able to help her. I guess there is something to be said for mind over matter. I will have to talk this over with Flynn. Maybe I should call him to make a session for tomorrow.

I think about calling, but find myself unwilling to upset Harper. Really, Grey? What if the business world could see you now? I briefly think of the phone that I know has continued to buzz since I left the office, but dismiss it for the moment.

* * *

 **Ana's POV**

I am so glad that today's interview went to well. Deanna hit it out of the park, and I have a feeling that this is the start of something magical. I relax into the backseat of the SUV that Sawyer is driving, then jolt when I realize I haven't seen or heard my phone all day. I hope everything is okay at home. I look through my bag, and can't find my phone.

I ask Sawyer to call it, and see that it is under the passenger seat. I look at it and see that I have missed calls from Gail. And texts. A lot of them. My anxiety amps up as I read that she wasn't doing well. The last text I see is that she was going to call Christian.

Good luck, Gail.

We pull up to escala and I rush upstairs. I'm going to have to find Harper and get her straight to a doctor. I turn the corner to the great room and stop in my tracks: Christian and Harper are napping together. Christian is in his back, Harper on his tummy, and he is cradling her little body. I can see that the two of them are a little worse for the wear. Christian's hair looks like a bird tried to nest in it. Harper's poor face looks all puffy, from crying I suspect, and I see she has drooled onto Christian's shoulder. I take my phone out and snap a picture of this. They look perfect together.

I see a bottle of Motrin in the table, and I assume that Christian must have things taken care of. I go into the kitchen looking for Gail. She is there, mixing some kind of cake mix. She looks up as I come in.

"Oh, Ana! You wouldn't believe the day we've had."

"I'm so sorry, Gail. My phone fell out in the car and I only realized on the way home. What happened?"

"Harper was not acting herself, but that changed into all out screaming and crying. I finally took her temperature and it was too high. I couldn't get a hold of you, and didn't have a car seat, so I called Mr Grey. He rushed here and took her to the hospital, his mother told him to. She met him there and the doctor diagnosed her with an ear infection. They all came back here and medicated Harper, but no matter what she wouldn't let Mr Grey go, so he laid down with her."

"He is asleep." I tell her

"Is he really?"

I show her my phone. Gail knows how monumental it is for Christian to be relaxed enough to sleep with someone touching him, and smiles widely at the pic.

I look at the phone again, and text the picture to Grace, knowing she will appreciate it. Before I put my phone away I decide to save that picture as my new background. I curl up on the other sofa great room, and watch my family.

Hopefully this is a start.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: hi all! This is a bit of a filler chapter, and shorter than my usual ones, but I hope you love it like I do. I'm hoping to get another chapter up soon. Thanks for continuing to stay with me. Enjoy**

* * *

Ch. 18

I've been sitting in the great room, reading, for the last hour. I can see that Christian is starting to stir. For a moment I worry that he will freak once he realizes Harper is on his chest, but I quickly dismiss that when I notice that he starts to rub her back.

I shut my book, waiting for his eyes to open. Finally, they do. He opens his eyes, and looks at me when I shift slightly. I give him a small smile.

"Hey." He whispers to me.

"Hey."

"How did work go?" He continues whispering as he continues to rub Harper's back.

"Great... I'm sorry I misplaced my phone... How did your day go?"

"Don't worry about your phone. You were right." When he sees my confused look, he explains. "I've been letting you carry the burden of taking care of Harper. I didn't realize just how much she needs us until today. I can't imagine how much time and energy you have put into Harper so far. I'm sorry I haven't been there to help."

"You were there today. She needed you and you were there. That's what it's all about. Please continue to be there."

Christian lifts his arm to me, inviting me into his cuddle with Harper. I join them, placing a kiss on Harper's head and then laying my head on Christian's shoulder. I feel him press a kiss to my hair.

"I _will_ be there."he reassures me.

A few minutes later Harper starts to squirm awake.

"Hi baby." I whisper to her.

Harper lifts her head to look at me. She reaches for my face, and I hear her start to moan. She looks like she is about to start crying. I'm starting to be very concerned.

"She is due for more Motrin." Christian tells me. "Her ear is probably starting to hurt her again."

We all sit up, Harper very upset with this development. Christian hands me the baby as he goes to measure a dose for her. She seems to hate the taste of the liquid medicine, she even gags. I feel my own stomach drop at her misery.

"My mom suggests we get her to eat something, anything."

"Maybe once the pain relief kicks in we can give her a bottle. I'm sure she will take that." I tell him.

I start to walk the floor with Harper, rocking her body. She starts to calm a little so I walk to the kitchen to get a bottle. When I get there I realize I can't make the bottle with the baby refusing to let me go.

"Babe?" I call for Christian.

"Yeah?" He comes in the room

" I need you to warm her a bottle. I don't have enough hands."

He looks a little scared, and I can't help but giggle at him. I talk him through it, even showing him how to test the temperature. With a warm bottle, we all make our way to Harper's room. I'm hoping to put her down for the night so, even though she gets upset, I put her down in the changing table for a fresh diaper. When she starts crying I see Christian squirm.

"Babe." I draw his gaze to my face. "She's fine. If she doesn't have a clean diaper we will be dealing with a uti or rash in addition to the ear infection." I see him nod in understanding, but I can still see he hates Harper crying.

Once Harper is all done, I take her to the rocking chair and give her the bottle. At first she fusses, but soon she guzzles it down. I rock her until her eyes shut, then move her to the crib.

"How did you do that?"he asks amazedly.

"Do what?"

"Put her in the crib without waking her."

"Practice. I used to do a lot of babysitting when I was younger." I tell him.

I grab him by the hand and lead him to our bedroom. I'm not ready for sex yet, but I need my husband in other ways. I sit crosslegged across from him on the bed.

"So are you in?" I ask him, referring to Harper, or maybe our marriage.

"I'm in."

"No more head up your ass, Grey." I warn him.

He smiles at me, leans in, and kisses me.

He presses his lips to mine, lightly at first. He moves back an inch, then comes back in to capture my bottom lip between his. I place my hands on either side of his face, holding him to me. He ends the kiss, then leans his forehead against mine.

"I'll prove my word to you, Ana. I'm here for you and Harper."

I let that statement alone, not reassuring him. He _does_ have to prove it to me, and he has to figure it out on his own.

"Now, what do you say I get Mrs Jones to make us a little something to eat, and we eat right here in bed. You can pick our entertainment." Christian offers with a grin.

"Yes." Is all I say. We will have time to talk everything out later, but for now I really just want to relax with my husband, and I'm glad he feels the same way. I give him a quick kiss, then give him a shove to the door. "Go ahead. I'll get Netflix ready to go."

He smiles at me as he leaves the room, and I can't help but return it. My kid is sleeping soundly, and things are getting better with my husband. This day didn't turn out so bad after all.


	19. Chapter 19

**Author's note: hi everyone! I hope you are excited because this chapter has a lemon. Let me know what you think. Thanks for still reading**

* * *

Ch. 19

I wake with my husband tangled around me. I can't help but smile. I feel like we are on our way back to how we were, and I'm so happy for that. I hear Harper is awake, so I squirm out from Christian's arms to go to her.

"Hi, baby." I greet the sleepy girl.

She doesn't seem quite as happy as she usually is, but she seems slightly better than last night. I decide to give her the antibiotic, but wait on the pain relief until she needs it. I change her but leave her in her pjs for now. We head to the kitchen, and I discover Christian already there, making coffee.

"Good morning." I greet him.

He pecks my lips with a kiss, then places a kiss to the top of Harper's head. I place Harper in her high chair, and I see Christian sit next to her at the breakfast bar.

"How's she doing this morning?" He asks me.

"Okay I think. I'm going to make her some oatmeal and then try to get the antibiotic in her."

"Have you taken her temperature?" He wonders.

"No, but I don't think she has a fever."

"And how do you know that, Mrs Grey?" He raises an eyebrow at me.

"Put your wrist on her forehead." I instruct. "Does it feel hot?"

"Not really."

"Exactly. If it was really hot I would be more concerned. For now I want to get food in her. I know she hasn't had much to eat in the last day. I'll check her temp after that."

After Harper is fed and given her medicine, Christian tells me he has to go into the office.

"I'm only going in for a bit." He assures me. "I just need to deal with some leftover stuff from yesterday. After that I'm coming home."

"Babe, it's a Friday. It's okay that you have to work."

"I feel like we need to have some time together, to fix what I've broken." He says.

I can't say I disagree with him.

I bring Harper to the living room to play, and Christian goes to get ready for work. When he comes back I notice that he looks more business casual than usual. He is wearing dark wash jeans, a black tshirt, and a dark blue blazer. He's still hotter than ever.

"Ana, why don't you join me for a date tonight?" He catches me off guard.

"Tonight?"

"Yes."

"I don't know." I tell him honestly, and I see his face sink. "I worry about Harper still being sick."

"I called my mom." He tells me. "Who better to babysit than a grandma who is a pediatrician?" He gives me a crooked grin.

"I guess that would be okay." I grin back. "But be prepared for me to be attached to my phone."

"I would expect nothing less."

Christian kneels next to me on the floor, and cups my face. We both lean in, meeting in the middle. Oh how I've missed this. I grasp his head, running my fingers through his hair, holding him to me. Responding to my enthusiasm, he parts my lips and let's his tongue caress mine. I kiss back as good as I get. I nip at his lips, but stop when I feel a pull on my elbow. I look down to see Harper pulling on me. Seeing that she has my attention, she raises her arms to me, wanting to be held. I giggle as I pick her up.

"Someone realized she wasn't the center of attention." I say, tapping Harper on the nose. She laughs a little at this.

Christian places his arms around the both of us, giving one last squeeze before he leaves.

As I go about my morning, I contemplate my date tonight. I'm not mad at Christian any more, he realizes what he was doing wrong and is trying to change things. I hope we are able to slip back into our relationship as it was. The more I think, the more excited I get.

* * *

I've just put Harper down for her afternoon nap when Christian comes home. He kisses me hello, and tells me he brought lunch home. While we eat, I decide to question him on our date.

"So what is the plan tonight?"

"I thought we would do dinner, then I have purchased tickets for the Seattle theatre. I know you've been wanting to go."

I get so excited. I always love going to the theatre, I don't mind what the performance is. I let out a little squeal of joy, and peck Christian on the cheek as a thanks.

Christian promises to keep an eye on Harper should she wake, so I can get ready for tonight. I decide to mix my outfit of some comfort and some sex appeal. I pick out my favorite lingerie set and a dress that is long sleeved but with a small dip in the back. I shave, pluck, and buff myself within an inch of my life, then I moisturizer everywhere. I set my hair in curlers, then start on my make up. I'm just brushing out my curls so soft waved when Christian knocks on the bathroom door.

"Almost done, baby?"

In response I open the door, catching him by surprise. He looks me over from head to toe, his mouth slightly open. I wave my hand in front of his face to snap him to attention.

"You look stunning, Anastasia."

I blush slightly at this. It's nice to feel sexy after wearing mom clothes for awhile. He places his hand at the small of my back leading me out. I grab Harper, and Christian grabs the diaper bag, then we step into the elevator.

When we reach Bellevue, Grace is practically bouncing in her spot waiting for me to pass the baby over. The argument for nature vs nurture leans towards nurture here as I can clearly see where Mia gets her excitement from.

"Christ, mom. Stop jiggling around or you'll make the baby puke." I hear Christian.

I smack him on his arm, and he turns to looks at me.

"Watch your mouth around the baby." I scold him.

We finally get in our car, agreeing to let grace keep Harper for the night after she hounded us.

At the restaurant Christian is a perfect gentleman, pulling my chair out, pouring me wine before pouring for himself. I'm loving spending time with him, but I'm wondering why Christian is trying so hard to not be himself. I get that he is trying to atone for his sins, but my husband usually isn't this polite. Aside from holding my hand he hasn't touched me. I'm surprised at this because usually by this point Christian will have alluded to trying to get me out of my panties or more. I appreciate his attention, but I also love my husband the way he is.

On our way to the theatre I decide to broach the subject of his behavior.

"Christian? How are you feeling?" I ask.

"Good." He squeezes my hand and smiles at me.

"I just notice you aren't acting like your usual self."

"How so?" He furrows his brow.

"You've just been so…gentlemanly, and polite."

"I'm not usually polite?" He sound offended, and pulls his hand away from mine.

"Oh relax." I stop him. "You know that isn't true, you just typically have tried to grope me by now." I try to sound light.

He stays quiet for a moment, clearly getting in his own head. I put my hand on his cheek, bringing his eyes to my own.

"I know you are trying to make tonight special, but I love you for you. You don't have to try so hard."

He takes my hand from his cheek, presses a kiss to my palm, and let's out a large sigh.

"I'm sorry." He tells me. "I've just wanted to make you feel like a queen tonight."

I crawl into his lap,straddling him.

"You have made me feel like a queen." I assure. "But how about now you just make me _feel_."

I kiss him, giving him everything I can. It's nice to be nice, but now I need some naughty. Christian comes alive underneath me, grabbing me by the ass and pulling me as close as he can. We kiss, and he kneads my ass, but after a few minutes I take his hand and guide it along my thigh, showing him just where I want him.

"Can you feel how much I want you?"I whisper breathily into his ear.

He groans at my words, and I feel his cock harden.

"Fuck! Are you trying to top from the bottom Mrs Grey?" I feel his words on my throat, punctuated by nips of his teeth up to my jaw.

"Would I dare, Mr Grey?" I tease.

SMACK

I feel him spank me, and I groan loudly.

"Oh,baby. You are playing with fire." His voice sounds strained, almost dangerous: my thighs clench.

I smash my lips back to his, harder than before. I feel Christian respond to my vigor in kind: he grips my thighs hard, possibly leaving a mark, but that turns me on more. I pull back, and Christian looks confusedly at me.

"Let's skip the theatre: just take me home." He nods at me, then presses the button that allows us to speak with Taylor in the front of the car.

"Change of plans, Taylor. Take us home."

"Yes, sir." He says.

I look at Christian, all tousled, and can't help but giggle. Before he can ask me why I lean in to keep kissing him. We get lost in one another, and I find myself caught off guard when there is a knock at out window from Taylor, letting us know we are home.

Christian and I enter the elevator alone, Taylor taking the staff elevator. I try to keep my distance from him in the elevator, trying to catch my breath. When we reach the penthouse I look up at Christian, and bite my lip when I see the hunger in his eyes. That's all it takes for Christian to sweep me up in his arms, and throw me over his shoulder.

SMACK

"What have I said about biting that lip?" Christian growls underneath me.

We quickly reach our room, and he dumps me on the bed. I lean up on my elbows, looking at him standing in front of me. He starts to undo his belt, achingly slow. He moves the belt from his pant loops, then undoes his pants button and zipper. I can see a peek of his dark blue boxer briefs. He stops working on his pants to unbutton his shirt. I feel my breathing deepening as he strips for me. I can't help but lick my lips once he takes the shirt off.

"See something you like?" He asks. I can only nod in response. "Stand." I do.

He reaches for my dress, lifting it over my head.

"You are exquisite." He tells me.

He turns my toward the bed, bending me over and caressing my bum.

"Oh, Ana. Later I'll play with this ass, but for now I need to be in your hot, wet pussy."

I clench my thighs at the thought. _What does he mean play with my ass?_

I feel him pull my panties down to my knees, leaving them there. I feel his warm breath against me. He presses a close mouth kiss to one cheek, then the other. I get slightly nervous, but then feel his mouth reach my center. He gives one lick along my pussy before standing up. I moan at the loss of his mouth, but I'm not disappointed for long. He presses his hard cock to me, pushing inside me at glacially slow pace. When I'm just about to push back onto him he enters me fully, taking my breath away. My body has gone too long without his.

After a second to catch my breath, Christian starts to fuck me proper. He grabs my hips tightly, thrusting into me over and over again. Just as a feel myself start to build to a climax, he pulls out of me. I'm quickly turned into my back. He leans over me and grabs my wrists, pinning them over my head with one of his hands. With his other hand he pulls down one cup of my bra, finding my nipple. He licks all around it, pulls back to blow on it, giving me chills, then takes it in his mouth again, sucking. He does the same with my other nipple. With his mouth still attached to my chest, he enters me again.

I don't know how he does it. He has my hands pinned, he is sucking my nipples, has his cock filling me so good, and then I feel his thumb brushing my clit. I arch my back, trying to absorb all of the sensations. Christian's mouth moves up to my neck.

"Cum for me, Ana." He whispers, then bites down on my neck.

I cum for him. How could I not? Just as I feel my self come down from my climax I hear him groan and feel his cum flooding inside me. He lets my hands go so he can brace his body from squishing me. I wrap my arms and legs around him, pulling him close so he doesn't pull out. I never feel more sexy than when my sinful husband has let loose inside me.

I feel marked and his. I feel like we are one again.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: hi all! I just want to thank all of you for reading, following, favoriting, and commenting on my stories I love hearing from all of you I don't respond to every comment but I want to thank you for them. I hope you like this chapter, it's just a quick one.**

* * *

Ch. 20

Christian and I had a wonderful night together, but now we have to go pick up Harper. It has taken me twice as long as normal to get ready because all of my muscles hurt from being so out of practice. Christian woke me twice in the night to take me in new, different positions.

Finally dressed, Christian escorts me to the elevator. He is wearing a dark grey v-neck tee, dark blue jeans, and converse sneakers on his feet. He's holding aviator sunglasses in his hand too, and I can't help but drool a little about how he pulls off that outfit. When the elevator doors close with us inside I feel our usual electricity spark, and I see Christian give me a hungry look.

"Don't give me that look, Grey." I warn. I see him give me a look like 'what did I do?' "I'm more sore than I've ever been before. I'm closed for business." I gesture to my lady bits at this.

Christian just smirks at this. The smirk doesn't leave his face the whole time we drive to Bellevue. When we arrive, Christian wraps his arm around my waist as we walk into his parents house. I can hear Grace and Carrick's voices coming from the family room. We follow the sounds and discover the two of them on the floor playing with Harper.

Harper is sitting up and just watching her new grandparents do silly things. They are trying to get her to play, but she is just content to giggle at the stupid things the two are doing. I see Carrick crawling along the floor, growling like a tiger. Grace is clapping her hands non stop and making funny faces. I can't stop myself from giggling along with Harper, and this alerts the Greys to our presence.

"Oh! Hi kids." Grace seems to be slightly embarrassed.

"Hi." I reply. I see that Harper has spotted us, and so I drop to my knees and encourage her to come to me.

Harper gets onto her hands and knees and rocks her body, trying to crawl but not having much success. She makes it about halfway to me and starts to whine like it's too much work for her. I know that she can crawl laps around this room if she wanted to, so I wait to go grab her up. Unfortunately she sees a sap in the form of my husband and gives him the most pitiful boo-boo face ever, and he falls for it. He rushes over and scoops her up.

"Christian! You let her play you." I accuse.

"She is sick." He rationalizes.

"Yes. She is sick, but she also fake cried." I gesture to the baby snuggled into his chest.

He just shrugs at me and kisses Harper's head. I can't be too mad at him because he is worried for her, and so damn cute.

Harper looks over at me and reached for me.

"Uh uh. You aren't gonna play me." I give her a fake stern look. She wiggles from Christian, and he lets her down to the ground.

Harper looks at me, and I can tell she wants me to get her, but I wait. I want her to use her muscles, and I also want her to listen to me. She gets a foot away from me and stops, then reaches up for me. I pause for a second to see it she can try to say 'up'.

"Come on, Ana. Pick her up." Christian says. I roll my eyes at him, and just as I am going to reach for her she speaks.

"Mama."

I feel my heart clench in my chest.

"Mama."

I immediately pick her up and squeeze her tight.

"Hey baby girl." I say through the tears that are clouding my vision.

I don't know what she really understands but I think she is associating me with taking care of her and loving her. I wonder if she ever said this word before. I feel Christian come over and put his hand on my lower back. I look up at him and he kisses my forehead: he knows just how emotional this moment is for me. I pull it together when I feel Harper try to wiggle out of my grasp. I put her down and she quickly grabs a stuffed duck and starts moving around with him.

I look around the room and see that Grace and Carrick are nowhere to be seen. I guess that is a good thing because that means Harper's revelation was just between Christian and I: it seems more special this way. I guess you could call it our first real 'family moment'.

* * *

Christian and I spent the rest of our weekend trying to get Harper healthy and to enjoy some down time. The weekend was amazing, and even though Harper never called me mama again I still felt a deeper bond with her. Each day of taking care of her makes her feel more like she is mine. It's crazy that a month ago I didn't even know she exists, and now I can't picture my life without her.

Christian still seems like he is unsure of what to do with Harper, but he's slightly more confident than before and is willing to try helping out with things. Unfortunately for me, Christian's kryptonite seems to be Harper's pout. This morning I saw her pull at his phone and put it in her mouth. He immediately told her 'no' and took it from her. All Harper had to do was shoot him some sad eyes and a pout and he gave it back to her. When I told him her drool will ruin the phone he told me he would just buy a new one. He has more money than sense.

It's now Sunday night and I just got Harper down to sleep. I decide to check my emails before I get ready for bed. My inbox is full of work issues.

I'm glad that my authors are doing so great, but that makes me busy. I don't know what to do here: I need to take care of work, but I need to take care of Harper too. I can't imagine being gone for eight hours without seeing her. My face must show my emotions because Christian immediately senses something is off with me.

"What's wrong baby?"

"Work. Life."

He lays down on the bed and leans on one elbow to look at me.

"Talk to me." He requests.

I sit down on the bed and throw my phone down next to me.

"My work is piling up, but I can't see going back right now. Harper is just getting settled and I don't want her to not know what's going on. Her life has already changed so much, and I feel like I need time with her to make her feel loved and comforted here. I think we need some time to bond, and learn one another." I tell him.

"Baby, you know you don't have to work."

"But I love my job. This is what I always wanted to do with my life. And I am actually good at it too."

"Well… What about going back part time?"

"Huh." I mutter as I think to myself. "I'll have to talk to Rachel about it."

"Good. You can talk to her tomorrow. For now let's go to bed." He wiggles his eyebrows at me and I know we won't be getting any sleep yet.


End file.
